Sometimes it feels like the pain you are feeling will never go away. Some days it is too much to bear. It goes away.
I had a dream last night about my ex-wife. It was surprising, but I know there was a reason for me having that specific dream. Do I know for sure why? No, but I choose to let God understand while I obey.
In the dream, my ex-wife and I never expected to see each other again. We tried to play dumb with the other people around. They asked if we knew each other and we came clean. Nothing more about the dream really meant anything, other than it was set in a tv cop show setting and we were a part of a sting operation. She ended up being undercover and was caught up with the bad guys when the sting went sideways. The dream ended with them on the run.
I dream maybe 5-10 nights a year so it is rare for me. It took a few minutes to register. When I dream about someone, I feel that it is God’s way of saying “Pray for (whomever)”.
Why did I pray for my ex-wife when she is the person who hurt me deeper than anyone else in my life? Because I believe God put her on my mind to pray for her. Simple as that. It may be her or her family’s health. Maybe someone passed away. Maybe she lost a job. I don’t know, but if I believe God wants me to pray, I need to pray.
What did I pray for? That she and here family are ok physically, healed and whole. I prayed that they would experience God in a fresh, new way and that they would be blessed.
18 years ago she ripped my heart out, trampled on it, and threw it in my face as she laughed and walked away. At least that is how it felt.
How could i pray for her now? Because I allowed God to heal me completely. It took time, but by being open to the Word of God, it allowed the Holy Spirit to mend up the wounds of my heart and mind. I made a choice to love God and be obedient to what I feel He calls me to do, including praying for my ex-wife if He wants me to.
It also allowed me to check how my healing is doing after all of these years. If I still felt pain, anger, or any other feeling other than thankfulness for His grace, mercy, and love; I need to deal with that.
Time doesn’t heal wounds, a faithful and honest relationship with Jesus does!!
Most of you that are reading are newly divorced or still within a few months or years of your divorce. How would you deal with a dream about your ex?
My prayer for you is that you continue down the path of healing and wholeness that God has for you. It takes time, tears, forgiveness, and God’s love to get there.
It goes away.