Ok. Time to get real. As far as resolutions go, approximately 609,234,127 of them have been broken and we are only 13 days into the new year. Now what?

It may not what you want to hear, but why did you give up? Have you stopped to think about it?

If you ask me why I quit something, it is because of a lack of discipline in my life, pain that I was not wanting to to deal with and it was easier to not continue, or circumstances beyond my control. Let’s talk about each one.

Lack of discipline in my life is probably one of my greatest regrets. It has caused me to lose so much time, money, and joy in my life. I look back on my life and I can remember over and over about all the ideas I have had and all of the things I have started, and never finished. A while back, I realized something about myself. I am a great starter. I am not a finisher. And I hate that about myself.

I have finished a lot of things, including projects at work and certain things that did not take much time or effort. But it is the things that meant the most to me, the things I had a dream and a passion for that I just let die. Business ideas, inventions, music, and even friendships. In a nutshell, I was afraid to fail, and in my fear, I failed.

Over the last few months, I have resolved to change that about me. This blog is a part of that. The first blog I started, includes 1 post. This blog is different. I feel a closeness to what I am writing about and it is deep inside of me to be able to help others through a severely difficult time in there lives. As just a guy who has been where you are/have been, know that it is your desire to heal and seek help that is driving me to be disciplined to add content and words that will encourage and bring hope. Thanks for helping me help you.

Pain in my life is something that is hard to talk about. There is a lot of things I will never share with anyone other than God. I have chosen to share the most painful things with my wife and they will stay there. Just know that pain is just that, hurt.

The pain that I experienced caused me to shrink back and not strive to heal. I wasted so many tears and so much time just letting the pain be, or shoving it down inside of me. It was not healthy and it just prolonged my healing.

I know it hurts. Whatever you are feeling, let yourself feel it. Deal with it. Get whatever help you need. Take it to God and lay it at His feet. Don’t give up, just give it to Him. He is the only one who knows the depth of your pain and can give you the healing you so desperately need.

Circumstances in my life caused me to have to react in ways that I absolutely did not want to. I did not choose to be divorced. I chose to remain faithful and do whatever I could to remain married. My circumstances at times told me what I would do and I had no choice. It is still amazing to me what happened and that God did not allow things to work out. Twice.

First, it is not God’s fault. It is called free will and I was on the receiving end of two relationships that included someone else who chose to walk away. With that, they dictated how things would end. No amount of praying to God or desire on my part changed my circumstances. How I dealt with them, WAS my choice.

When it comes to someone’s free will, you can only do so much to influence it. There comes that moment when you have to realize that you never have nor will you ever make someone else love you. It is a choice if that other person wants to love you.

Can you imagine how God feels when someone chooses not to love Him? God created everything and gave His one & only Son, Jesus, as the greatest sacrifice of love for every person who has ever been born or will ever be born. Yet, people choose not to love Him.

Realizing that you are in control of your free will and your own choices, why would you ever give up? Why would you let circumstances or someone else dictate to you how to live the rest of your life?

You are a once-in-a-lifetime creation that God made for a purpose. What someone else thinks about you or says about you, does not need to control you. You could not control if they loved you, don’t let what is in the past to control you now.

Take a few minutes and really think about why you might have given up to this point and realize this: You have not given up if you choose to take just one more step.

Maybe that step is just turning your emotions and the pain over to God and asking Him to take it from you. Even if you do not feel different, know that your feelings will follow your decisions. Stand firm in your decision to take another step forward and to move on from it, your feelings will eventually follow.

You might have thought you gave up, but just reading this far, you have shown that you are still doing something to heal. You are still moving. It may not feel like it, but you are.

Psalms 23:4 (NASB) says “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me…”

What is the part of the verse that describes what we should do?

WALK THROUGH. We are moving and we are going through it. It doesn’t say, “While you sit and hurt in the lowest valley, know that God is feeling sorry for you…” Not a chance. I am sure God cries and hurts when you do, but He wants you to move and not stay where you are.

And isn’t that what you want too?

Don’t give up.

You have no idea how great your tomorrow will be if you stay stuck in yesterday.