Starting Over

Where do I begin? Is there anything left? Where is God in all of this?

Sound familiar? These are some of the exact questions that people have when needing to recover from a divorce.

I have a hard time telling people what to do. It’s hard enough to be a dad and tell my daughter she needs to go to bed when she doesn’t want to or my son that he needs to take care of things before the last-minute. Maybe it is just my way of allowing people to learn, or maybe it is just me wimping¬†out on my responsibility as a dad. I need to work on that.

But,  do you REALLY want someone to tell you what to do? Do you REALLY trust the advice you are getting is in your best interest? How do you know?

Ok, here is where the rubber meets the road. Are you ready? What I am going to tell you is going to be something that most people will never tell you. It is groundbreaking information that will work 100% of the time, if you follow the directions. The problem is most people either never receive the advice with a willing spirit to change or they attempt it for a while and then think the advice has to be wrong so they just go it alone.

If you really want to know what to do, here it is:

1) Pray

2) Seek God

3) Turn away from the wrong things

Simple as that. If you truly want the recovery and peace that will last and sustain you as you heal, you need help from above. Only God can heal a broken heart.

Praying to God, no matter what the prayer sounds like to start, opens the communication to Him. It brings forth an openness for change in you, which is what is needed to heal.

I can remember times of just screaming and yelling at God. Every part of me wanted to vent my frustration and pain while pushing the blame onto someone or something else. I wanted them to feel pain like I felt and it really didn’t matter what I said. It just felt good to say it. Praying for justice took on a whole new meaning, meaning it would make me feel better. but eventually, God changed my heart.

He caused me to start praying that I would be all He had for me to be, no matter what happened. I knew that the future held so much more pain, but I knew that deep down, God loved me with a love that no human can have. It help the healing process to start. And it will help you.

Seeking God is just that, looking for Him. Looking for Him in everything, not just a pretty sunrise, your child’s face, or a song that moves you. It is something that should happen daily and be sincere in knowing Him, not finding verses to curse your ex-spouse with (I’m sorry, but I am guilty in doing that for a while). Building a relationship with God, founded on the written word of God (bible), is what will sustain you for the long road ahead as well as setting you up for peace and wisdom to handle what is coming next.

Turning away from the wrong things should be obvious, and for most people, it is. We tell ourselves that we will change our behavior, but it seems like it just will not happen. It takes a decision and the fortitude to manage that decision from this day forward.

What kind of behavior do you need to change? Hopefully, you already know. Most people know where they need to make changes because they have told their spouse things like, “Oh, I can quit drinking or doing drugs if it means you will give me another chance” or “You keep telling me to do (x,y,z) and I don’t think I need to change. It is you who needs to change”. Well, for just a moment, think about it. What behavior did your spouse say caused problems? Start with that. Through more prayer & relationship with God, you will get direction in how you need to change and grow so that you can become the person you need to be.

The points above come from 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says “then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and PRAY and SEEK my face and TURN from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.”

If you want your land(heart) restored, you need to PRAY, SEEK, and TURN to God.

It is the only way to a true, lasting, and complete healing.

Or, you can keep doing what got you here in the first place……It is your choice.

In my own strength, I failed.

I will take the Creator of it all, the One who loves me and gives me my every breath. My faith and trust is in the One who knows how to heal the broken heart.

He can and will, if you let Him.

Dying To Live

The phrase ‘Dying to Live” is one that is confusing to some people. You might think, “How can I live if I die?”. Simple, but not easy.

The phrase has come to mean, you need to let those things that are dead (ie, marriage, relationships, friendships, your past) be as if they are buried in the ground, never to return. Only then can you really get on with living the life you have to live. Dying to live.

I saw a friend of mine post this video a few days ago. The reason I checked it out was because I used to listen to Creed almost nonstop for a year, getting to know the songs intimately. Scott Stapp (lead singer) has such a distinct voice and he sang with such passion. The words were definitely right down my alley, since I had become a Christian & could tell they were Godly lyrics, even if the band refused to classify themselves as a Christian band. I just needed to check out the video.

I could not believe how inspirational and comforting of a song it is. The lyrics were on the video so I could follow along and it just spoke to me heart.

I would ask you, if you did not take the time to check out the full video, please do it. Pay attention to the words as the music plays. It speaks life.

After a little YouTubing, I ran across another video about how he was struggling with alcohol and other vises as the band was growing apart. He talks candidly about how dark those times were and that he experienced a divorce and a near-death 40 foot fall. He realized he had to die (almost physically, yet totally to his own self) to live. Check it out here, if you like.

It is through the struggles in life that we find out what is really worth living for. Our children, family, friends, and those near and dear to us love us like none other, except God.

Jesus died for you and me so that we could live. He knew life is a struggle, but He provided the way to peace and new life in God.

“I had to go hell to find my Heaven, 40 feet I had to fall from grace. Everything’s so clear when you’ve got one foot in the grave.”

Who has been there? I know I have. I remember wishing I would just die, knowing that I would see Jesus right away, but He had other plans for me. He had a purpose through my pain & experience. He knew that at some point, you would need this encouragement. My pain was to help you.

It took me a long time to figure that out, but I now know that things will come clear, if you just die to yourself and your past, and live.

My pastor said one Sunday that “Forgiveness is hold out no hope for a better past.”. The past is gone. You can learn from it, but you cannot change it. Let it die.

And my friend, now LIVE!!!

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