Connect

I wanted to thank each and every one of you who has visited this blog and connected with us. Little did I know how far this would go and where God will take it next. Podcast? Vlog? Hang tight and see…

I wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to connect with us on other sites, not just on the blog. If you haven’t already, feel free to become a part of the Divorce to Healing family at these sites as well:

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/divorcetohealing

Instagram: instagram.com/divorcetohealing

Twitter: twitter.com/Divorce2Healing

YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCox7eYFebPqHWs7mZyx405Q

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Love you all!!

Chaos

Is this how you are feeling right now?

Does the world inside of you match the world outside of you?

Have you ever wondered about the reason for the question “WHY?”? Is it just a 4-letter word that is so beyond that it lost a letter?

The question of why is not the subject of this post. The cause of fear, anxiety, and confusion IS.

Chaos is caused by many factors, both external and internal. Divorce, abuse, economic factors, political systems and many other reasons are not the actual chaos. They are only the result or fruit of chaos.

It was before Facebook and Twitter. It started before television. It was even around before the invention of the printing press.

Evil. Evil causes chaos.

Wait….. it can’t be that simple!!! What about X, Y, Z, etc…?

Is it a red demon named satan standing in front of people stinking of burnt flesh holding a pitchfork?

I guess we could go in a hundred or more different directions, but in the end, it is evil at some level.

Better yet, let’s describe it as anything coming against the peace that surpasses all understanding that God gives us through His Holy Spirit.

Philippians 4:7

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Chaos is not what God is about. God is the answer to chaos.

I would say that the vast majority of you reading this are not a source of chaos. Most if not virtually all of you are being affected by chaos in a negative way. You are reaping the fruit of chaos. For that my heart breaks.

Remember, people being used by God’s enemies, are not the cause of the chaos. God’s enemies are the source of the chaos. They choose to use people because we live in a physical world and they need a vehicle to control to cause their chaos.

Ephesians 6:12 ESV

12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Your ex-husband/ex-wife/stbx (soon-to-be-ex) is not evil. They are being manipulated in some way and at some level by an enemy of God.

God created us with a free will. How we allow our free will to be controlled by internal and external forces is our choice, just as those being used to bring forth chaos.

The answer to the “WHY? question may never come. I know that may be a hard thing to hear, but chances are you either will not get the answer you desire or it will just be a lie anyway. Just let it go for now.

We get caught up in the fruit of chaos and forget to choose a different fruit; the fruit of peace.

Philippians 4:4-9 ESV

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

First, God tells us to rejoice in Him. It is hard to rejoice in the situations and people around us, but we can choose to lay that aside and find joy in Jesus.

Second, people will see that you are being reasonable and able to think about your relationships and what is happening with a sound mind.

Third, God says not to worry about things. He also wants you to come to Him with those in prayer, whole-heartedly giving thanks and honoring Him as you lay them out at the feet of Jesus.

THEN, after you do these things, it says that God will give you that peace that surpasses all understanding. If you don’t have that yet, keep repeating the steps above until you do.

After you can honestly have a Godly peace, one that you can feel all the way to the depths of your soul, then comes the hard part.

Verses 8 & 9 give you the recipe to maintain that peace. God will always give you peace, but when we follow the instructions in these verses, peace stays with us. That is what you want, right?

Verse 8 says to think about these things:

Whatever is true (to God, not in your own mind)

Whatever is honorable (to God, not you or any person)

Whatever is just (according to God’s descriptions, not yours)

Whatever is pure (in God’s eyes, again, not our own)

Whatever is lovely (what God finds love in, not what we feel like love is)

Whatever is commendable (what God would give you a verbal pat on the back for)

Whatever is found as excellent in thought, word, or deed (something that God thinks in an excellent way towards, like an action or thought you have about anyone else)

Whatever is worthy of praise (God actually is always worthy of praise in every situation, so I guess always)

Verse 9 says that when you have learned (been made aware of and acknowledge), received (actually believe and have decided to embrace), heard (hearing AND UNDERSTANDING BY DOING, not just reading and listening), and seen (saw demonstration of those actions of faith through the testimony of others); this is what God wants you to practice the rest of your life. THEN, the God of peace will be with you.

It sounds like a lot, I know. It seems like a daunting task, but it really isn’t. It just takes a real choice to seek and find peace. The other option is to stumble around life until you get to the point where you are ready to truly have the peace you desire.

A person can’t give you peace. A huge divorce settlement and a fat bank account can’t give you peace. A new relationship just to bandage wound can’t give you peace.

God is the God of peace.

You want peace.

Tell Him.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Love you all!!

Holiday Divorce Resources

For so many people, this time of the year is not the most joyous. It brings back memories of bitter times and causes them to dwell on the past and current pain in their lives.

Sometimes, it is just too much.

Please, don’t just click and move on from this post or scroll too quickly. Take just 5 minutes to give yourself a real chance to get some help for how you may be feeling.

I want you to know, PERSONALLY, that you are loved and there are people that honestly and truly will be there for you. If you don’t know who that is in your life right now, take a few minutes to consider anyone and everyone who has told you this; “If you need anything, be sure to let me know”. If they truly meant it, reach out to them. Tell them you need someone to help you, even if you just need them to listen to you dump.

I want you to know, PERSONALLY, that God loves you with an everlasting love. He doesn’t care where you are right now or what you think about your situation. He just wants to love you. Take a few minutes to just tell him anything you want.

Don’t worry. You won’t hurt His feelings. He will listen. He just wants you to be real, raw, and fully honest with Him, no matter what.

Say it out loud. Talk to Him verbally, just like you would if someone is physically standing in the room with you. Yell. Scream. Cry. Blame. Just let it out. Don’t stop until you get it all out.

You may be saying, “I thought this would give me a list of places and organizations where I could reach out for help.”

I just did. Real people that love you no matter what and a God that loves you no matter what will do far more for you in the long run than a phone number or a website. These may help jumpstart your healing process, yet they will only go so far.

Don’t worry. I will have a few at the end of this post.

Nothing helped me more than having a cryfest with my lead and associate pastors at my local church to start my healing process. Getting to sit with my brother on the steps to his house just pouring my heart out to him allowed me to keep moving forward a little bit at a time. Talking to a friend who just allowed me to bend his ear whenever I felt like it, did wonders for my soul.

Don’t miss out on these resources. Years down the road, you will see the immense value of these friendships and relationships for what they are; human resources for the soul.

Did I have thoughts of suicide when I was at my weakest points? Yes. Was I ever serious about them? No.

Most people experience the same thing, but you soon realize that there are more than just a few people that will forever be devastated by losing you.

If you are seriously considering suicide, please stop and contact someone immediately.

In the US, contact 911 or 1-800-273-8255. You should only be on hold a minute, but someone will be ready to talk to you as soon as possible.

If you are not in the US, here is a link to international phone numbers that you can call right now.

If you would prefer to chat with someone via chat, visit ChatNow or Anthem of Hope. Both of these can help with many different issues. They are free and totally anonymous.

If you are in need of fully Christian and fully clinical professional in-person mental health needs, visit this link to Honey Lake Clinic. It is the #1 Christian mental health clinic in the US!! If you need real help with Christian and medical professionals working together, I would seek them out.

For those that need to find a local church where they can connect with people near them so they can develop new and life-giving relationships, consider this website from the Association of Related Churches. ARC is a Christian organization that is non-denominational that works together as a group to help grow life-changing and life-giving churches is over 600 communities all over the US and even some overseas.

There are numerous Christian reading plans available at Bible.com. There are too many subjects and plans to even try to tell you about them. Just take a look. They are free resources and I highly recommend the YouVersion app for your mobile device to make it easier to read.

If you are interested in the two reading plans I have there, check out the links below:

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness — http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
Divorce to Healing: Survive and Thrive —  http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

In the event you just want to share your story or a comment to this post, feel free to share it below. I do my best to respond to each and every comment. I would love to know what is on your heart and mind during this time of year or any time.

Reach out if you need help.

You are loved. You are special. You were fearfully and wonderfully created God.

Be blessed!!

Comfort in Suffering

Everyone grows tired of the same old attempts to make us feel good when we are going through the most difficult times in our lives. For the most part, they mean well. Does it really feel like that to you, though?

If we are being honest, we want to believe that “everything will be alright” and “time heals all wounds”. At 2AM in the morning when you can’t sleep and have been crying your eyes out, these words ring less than hollow.

The meaning behind those words are saying, “I care, but I don’t really know what to say or do.” In the end, they mean well and really do care for you.

Unless they have gone through what you are going through or are a professional counselor/minister, anything they say may not give you any sense of relief or comfort.

When I learned that almost everything I can say or do for someone going through a divorce will not provide much help, it set me back a little bit. It caused me to rethink my approach when it comes to advice and direction for divorce healing.

To those of you who have read my previous blog posts or I have been blessed to help you in person, you know those words. I will share them later in this post, for those that need them.

Today, I saw a video that I had to watch twice. It is a video from Celebration Church of Jacksonville, FL. They produce a weekly video to compliment their daily bible study called The Whole Story Reading Plan. It is in partnership with The Bible Project and an amazing way to gain a fuller understanding of the Bible.

In this weekly video titled “Comfort in the Mystery“, I gained a fresh perspective of the Book of Job.

We all know the story (or do we?). Job was a good man that God allowed to go through suffering. Man, did I learn some things. From a guy who has been a Christian for over 25 years and heard numerous sermons on Job, this was eye-opening.

The video is about 30 minutes long. When you are ready and have the time to process it, feel free to watch it (posted again below). Watch it fully a couple of times, like I did.

(Disclaimer: You may be confused by some of the things said, if you have not deeply studied the Bible. Just listen for the application of the Word, paying attention to how God’s Word provides comfort in and through suffering. I will refer you to the book Supernatural by Dr. Michael Heiser for information on what be new or confusing to you.)

Hopefully, you will feel encouraged that God knows what you are going through and desires you to be whole, not just healed.

He has the answers to your questions. He has the salve for your wounds. He has the hands to mend your broken heart.

I promised you earlier that I would share with you what I say to those needing comfort and direction in times of divorce.

If you are looking for answers, I don’t have them. If you want me to tell you it will get better, it will eventually. If you want to know how to fell or how to act, beats me. So what good can I provide?

A continually, fully surrendered, honest relationship with Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior that is growing each and every day is what you need. Simple as that.

It is not hard, yet extremely challenging. It is not easy, yet it is exceedingly fulfilling. It is not warm and fuzzy, at least when you start. It is not confusing, as long as you remain obedient.

I have not had one person tell me that the above has not worked, if they honestly surrender complete control over EVERY area of their life and follow Jesus with blind and growing faith.

Don’t kid yourself. What you are going through is real life!!! Guess who gave you that life? God did and he does not make mistakes.

He is the only one who knows exactly what you need, when you need it, and how you need it. A true and honest growing relationship with Him will provide the peace, wisdom, and knowledge needed as you process from divorce to healing and on to wholeness.

God knows. God loves you. Let Him love you the way He wants to love you.

Get to know Him.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

There Was Jesus

Such an amazing song to encourage those that need some encouragement right now.

The lyrics are listed below. Be blessed!!

There Was Jesus


Every time I tried to make it on my own

Every time I tried to stand and start to fall

All those lonely roads that I have traveled on

There was Jesus

When the life I built came crashing to the ground

When the friends I had were nowhere to be found

I couldn’t see it then but I can see it now

There was Jesus

In the waiting, in the searching

In the healing and the hurting

Like a blessing buried in the broken pieces

Every minute, every moment

Of where I been and where I’m going

Even when I didn’t know it

Or couldn’t see it

There was Jesus

For this man who needs amazing kind of grace

For forgiveness at a price I couldn’t pay

I’m not perfect so I thank God every day

There was Jesus

On the mountain in the valleys (There was Jesus)

In the shadows of the alleys (There was Jesus)

In the fire, in the flood (There was Jesus)

Always is and always was

I never walk alone

Music by Zach Williams and Dolly Parton performing “There Was Jesus” (Official Music Video). (C) 2020 Provident Label Group LLC, a division of Sony Music Entertainment

Psalm 23: Divorce Translation

It seems even those who don’t know the Bible have heard at least parts of this passage of scripture. It is one of the most popular and encouraging group of verses quoted and paraphrased every hour of every day somewhere in the world.

I would like to share this version with you. I will quote a verse and then translate it for those needing the hope and encouragement you need now during the divorce healing process.

Psalm 23:1 ESV

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

Translation:

Jesus is watching over you. He is looking out for danger and possible attacks against you. If you have Him, you have everything you need to get through this. Don’t think another relationship will give you true peace. It won’t fill that God-shaped hole inside of you.

Psalm 23:2 ESV

He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.

Translation:

Jesus will make you rest. He will cause you to take time to be refreshed. He will make sure it is a place still full of life and nourishment (grass and water). As a lamb, you need a safe place to pause and regain your strength. Jesus will allow you to see the lush, green grass between your toes and the mirror-like surface of the freshest water you have ever seen.

Psalm 23:3 ESV

Translation:

He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Jesus brings back your soul from the place of brokeness. He fixes the shattered pieces and puts them together again. He will be your ever present help as you make decisions that will affect you and your family from this day forward. It will be a path that glorifies Him as it brings forth transformation in you.

Psalm 23:4 ESV

Translation:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.

Jesus will calm your fears of what is to come as you choose to walk with him through this valley in your life. Though it may feel like you are near death and being haunted by an evil shadow, He is right there with you. Hold on to Him, because He wants to hold onto you. His rod is an instrument of protection from harm as it displays His strength towards the enemy. His staff is the way He guides you, lovingly rescuing you from those places you seem to find yourself in that are not good for you. Those give you a peace, knowing how much He loves you in those ways.

Psalm 23:5 ESV

Translation:

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.

Jesus is creating a place where you will feast upon God’s blessings while others will be able to see His goodness towards you. He will flood your heart and mind with an abundance of peace and joy as you commune with Him at His table. There will come a day that you will be able to help others from the overflow of His goodness in your life. Your healing will flow out to those around you because of what God has done in you.

Psalm 23:6 ESV

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Translation:

Get ready for the rest of your life!! You will experience a life where people will see God’s goodness and mercy flow out of you wherever you go. You can experience the life God has for you, as a son or daughter of the King in His house full of love and peace. As you stay in His home, you will.

Don’t let your emotions and self-image cause you to stray. Wolves are waiting for you to be isolated and wounded. God will come to your rescue. Just call on Jesus and rest in Him. He is your shepherd.

Be blessed.

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

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