One

Don’t worry.

I won’t ramble on about all the sayings with the number 1 in them. You have probably already heard them. If you haven’t and are divorced, you will shortly.

For some reason, I just felt led to write about this number. It is just that; a number.

You could say that numbers come in all shapes and sizes, but that would not make sense. Unless of course, you are looking for a crazy one for your next Powerpoint slide or Instagram story.

What struck me is why this number can mean the best, the first, and the chosen. It can also be a lonely and depressing number when you are divorced or looking at your account balance.

When you have done everything people tell you to do and yet you don’t feel like you are making progress, what then?

Has counseling, group therapy, and well-meaning friends/family dragging you out of the house seemed to leave you feeling no better than before?

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who has been devastated by divorce, has been where you are. At least for a time.

How long that time is varies from a day or two to years. It all depends on the 1.

What am I talking about? The number? 1?

As a Christian, of course it all comes down Jesus. He is our #1. But that is not where I want to end it. You have heard or will hear all of that, so let me take another look at the number 1.

I think about those who have tried everything and feel stuck. Is that you?

You don’t feel like you have healed at all. You may even feel worse now than when this tragic season started for you.

It is like that book writer trying to start a masterpiece and all you see is an overflowing trash can of crumpled up paper in the corner. (Back when people used typewriters.)

Now what? How do I start? What next?

1.

Ok. Here comes the best advice I can give you after 30 years of experience involved in either my own divorces or ministry to those needing answers:

1.

Come on, Brent. Give us something….. I am sure this is what you are thinking. And I would be too.

Let me explain what I feel led to share with you.

1.

Breath.

1.

Thought.

1.

Prayer.

1.

Action.

Got it?

1.

Just quiet yourself and take a breath. God has blessed you with another one. Slowly breathe in and out.

You are alive and breathing, so God can and will use you. He has a purpose for you being here and in the situation you are in. Everything else at this moment doesn’t matter. Close your eyes and just slowly breathe for a moment or two.

Job 12:10 ESV

10 In his hand is the life of every living thing
    and the breath of all mankind.

1.

Take a moment to clear your mind of all the thoughts causing you to feel down, depressed, and anxious. There is a thought in there that wants to rise up and it is being choked off by negative thoughts.

When you quiet your mind and think of peace, what do you think of? The wind rustling through the trees on a cool morning outside? How about the whooshing of the waves slowly crashing on a quiet beach as you relax in a chair staring out at the ocean? Does staring at all of the twinkling stars overhead on a clear dark night make you feel like all of your cares are gone, even for a moment?

Philippians 4:8 ESV

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

1.

Take a moment to thank God for His love for you. He loves you with an everlasting love. Nothing that has happened to you or any perception you have about yourself can even come close to what God thinks about you. Yes, you!!

Pray a simple prayer. No agenda. No desires. Just pray that God reveals to you how much He loves you. Ask Him to show you. Ask that He touch you so you can feel Him all the way to your soul. Just spend a moment with Him. Nothing more than that. All of the issues you are dealing with will still be there, but this is your time with the One who created you.

Don’t rush it. Be honest. Pour out your heart to Him. He will listen.

Jeremiah 29:12 ESV

12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.

1.

Just do 1 simple thing today. Just 1. Something you have never done before.

Scream “JESUS!!!” at the top of your lungs. Drop and do 20 push-ups. Open the blinds and look for a bird or butterfly. Start reading that book you bought 4 years ago. Grab your Bible, close your eyes, and just start flipping through the pages until you feel you need to stick your finger on a page. Read that chapter. Find a podcast you have never listened to and listen. Call that friend you have lost track of who is on your mind.

Do 1 thing. Something. Move forward.

God will honor your movement towards healing.

In John 5, you can read the story of a man who had been an invalid for 38 years. I could never imagine the pain and shame this man must have endured over his life.

Jesus came and asked him “Do you want to be healed?”. The man did not answer with a yes. He explained to Jesus that he had nobody to help him into the healing pool. We can argue if it was an excuse or just the man frustrated with his situation, not knowing what to do. That is not the point.

Jesus didn’t talk down to him or make him feel less than worthy.

Jesus said to do something. “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.”

Sermons have been preached about so many points in just these few verses. I am not going to preach to you.

Just do something.

Ask God what He wants you to do. Then do it.

John 5:9 ESV

And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.

1.

Just a simple action, an honest prayer, a peaceful thought, and a breath from your Creator.

You may never see the number 1 the same again.

What is your 1?

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
(over 175,000 downloads to date)
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7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

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Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Love you all!!

Are You Ready?

There will come that day when you are ready to move on from the pain, the hurt, and the past. You will be ready to get back in the race.

Your life has not gone the way you imagined it. I don’t know of one person who started dating with the plan to get married and then get divorced. Doesn’t happen.

So what now?

Romans 8:28 ESV

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

This verse doesn’t mean everything in our life is good or even that it will be easy from this day forward. What God is saying is, no matter what, if you love God, things will work out.

God can make something out of nothing. Think back to Eden. He created Adam out of the dirt and Eve using Adam’s rib.

So, how do you think God will use you to help others going through what you have gone through?

If you are not at that point in your healing, that is ok. There will come a day when someone will come to you and need your advice or encouragement. You will feel unprepared and probably have no idea what to say.

Take it from me…..you will be able to help them. Even if it is just to have a listening ear. You are further down the path to healing then they are. Be open to being a helping hand.

When my wife and I had led a few marriage groups at our church, we felt maybe we were to do something else to help others. My wife, being a single mom before we met, felt led to help other single moms. Since I had been divorced twice before, I was starting to have a heart towards men and divorce.

Guess what? God gave us the perfect blend of both of those desires: DivorceCare.

Our church was needing a couple to facilitate this new curriculum. We received a call from one of the pastors asking us if we would be interested.

It is interesting how God had already warmed us up to helping others in a new way, but never saw this coming.

I listened to the pastor on the phone and asked if they could hold for a few seconds while I talked to my wife. I looked at my wife and said, “They want us to lead a new group called DivorceCare. What do you think?”.

She looked at me at said, “I guess we are doing it.”. We didn’t have to think twice.

Now when we started, we felt so unprepared.

God was with us every step of the way. From a lady in our first group who had just moved to our city a few months before and been divorced for over 10 years (Yes, 10!!) still dealing with anger to other people that would eventually become life-long friends, we just took it one week at a time.

It felt good to see people come into the group broken and hurting, yet seeing those who chose to stay in the group for the full timeframe coming to a new place in the healing process.

This is my story. What will yours be?

Will you be someone who leads a group eventually? Will you be a listening ear to that co-worker that is struggling at work because her marriage has fallen apart? Will you hear of someone having problems and feel led to pray for them to get healing and find peace.

However that looks for you, be ready for it. Use the breath God gives you to bless others in your own way and with His spirit leading the way.

I was blessed today to get a direct message from a man who read this blog and felt like God has given him a desire to start a blog as well. I was overjoyed to share a little of the knowledge I have gained over the last 7 1/2 years. I encouraged him to just get started.

You can get started, even if you are not fully healed or fully ready. Ask God to guide you in a simple way to be a blessing to someone else, even if it is in praying for a person struggling with the effects of divorce.

As you take your eyes off of your situations and help others, you will be amazed at how God takes care of your situations while you are not worrying and stressing over them, even for a few minutes.

When you are ready, take the step. Have a caring and encouraging word for someone. Offer to sit in a group and offer your thoughts. Maybe help co-lead a group. Start a blog our YouTube channel about your life.

Be a blessing to someone else as God continues to love you and heal you.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
(over 180,000 downloads to date)
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Much love!!

Connect

I wanted to thank each and every one of you who has visited this blog and connected with us. Little did I know how far this would go and where God will take it next. Podcast? Vlog? Hang tight and see…

I wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to connect with us on other sites, not just on the blog. If you haven’t already, feel free to become a part of the Divorce to Healing family at these sites as well:

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/divorcetohealing

Instagram: instagram.com/divorcetohealing

Twitter: twitter.com/Divorce2Healing

YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCox7eYFebPqHWs7mZyx405Q

Chaos

Is this how you are feeling right now?

Does the world inside of you match the world outside of you?

Have you ever wondered about the reason for the question “WHY?”? Is it just a 4-letter word that is so beyond that it lost a letter?

The question of why is not the subject of this post. The cause of fear, anxiety, and confusion IS.

Chaos is caused by many factors, both external and internal. Divorce, abuse, economic factors, political systems and many other reasons are not the actual chaos. They are only the result or fruit of chaos.

It was before Facebook and Twitter. It started before television. It was even around before the invention of the printing press.

Evil. Evil causes chaos.

Wait….. it can’t be that simple!!! What about X, Y, Z, etc…?

Is it a red demon named satan standing in front of people stinking of burnt flesh holding a pitchfork?

I guess we could go in a hundred or more different directions, but in the end, it is evil at some level.

Better yet, let’s describe it as anything coming against the peace that surpasses all understanding that God gives us through His Holy Spirit.

Philippians 4:7

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Chaos is not what God is about. God is the answer to chaos.

I would say that the vast majority of you reading this are not a source of chaos. Most if not virtually all of you are being affected by chaos in a negative way. You are reaping the fruit of chaos. For that my heart breaks.

Remember, people being used by God’s enemies, are not the cause of the chaos. God’s enemies are the source of the chaos. They choose to use people because we live in a physical world and they need a vehicle to control to cause their chaos.

Ephesians 6:12 ESV

12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Your ex-husband/ex-wife/stbx (soon-to-be-ex) is not evil. They are being manipulated in some way and at some level by an enemy of God.

God created us with a free will. How we allow our free will to be controlled by internal and external forces is our choice, just as those being used to bring forth chaos.

The answer to the “WHY? question may never come. I know that may be a hard thing to hear, but chances are you either will not get the answer you desire or it will just be a lie anyway. Just let it go for now.

We get caught up in the fruit of chaos and forget to choose a different fruit; the fruit of peace.

Philippians 4:4-9 ESV

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

First, God tells us to rejoice in Him. It is hard to rejoice in the situations and people around us, but we can choose to lay that aside and find joy in Jesus.

Second, people will see that you are being reasonable and able to think about your relationships and what is happening with a sound mind.

Third, God says not to worry about things. He also wants you to come to Him with those in prayer, whole-heartedly giving thanks and honoring Him as you lay them out at the feet of Jesus.

THEN, after you do these things, it says that God will give you that peace that surpasses all understanding. If you don’t have that yet, keep repeating the steps above until you do.

After you can honestly have a Godly peace, one that you can feel all the way to the depths of your soul, then comes the hard part.

Verses 8 & 9 give you the recipe to maintain that peace. God will always give you peace, but when we follow the instructions in these verses, peace stays with us. That is what you want, right?

Verse 8 says to think about these things:

Whatever is true (to God, not in your own mind)

Whatever is honorable (to God, not you or any person)

Whatever is just (according to God’s descriptions, not yours)

Whatever is pure (in God’s eyes, again, not our own)

Whatever is lovely (what God finds love in, not what we feel like love is)

Whatever is commendable (what God would give you a verbal pat on the back for)

Whatever is found as excellent in thought, word, or deed (something that God thinks in an excellent way towards, like an action or thought you have about anyone else)

Whatever is worthy of praise (God actually is always worthy of praise in every situation, so I guess always)

Verse 9 says that when you have learned (been made aware of and acknowledge), received (actually believe and have decided to embrace), heard (hearing AND UNDERSTANDING BY DOING, not just reading and listening), and seen (saw demonstration of those actions of faith through the testimony of others); this is what God wants you to practice the rest of your life. THEN, the God of peace will be with you.

It sounds like a lot, I know. It seems like a daunting task, but it really isn’t. It just takes a real choice to seek and find peace. The other option is to stumble around life until you get to the point where you are ready to truly have the peace you desire.

A person can’t give you peace. A huge divorce settlement and a fat bank account can’t give you peace. A new relationship just to bandage wound can’t give you peace.

God is the God of peace.

You want peace.

Tell Him.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Love you all!!

Can You Help Me?

When I started this blog years ago, I never knew that it would reach all over the world and help so many special people. Each and every one of them (including YOU) has been a blessing from God to encourage me to continue helping people that need healing from divorce.

And now, I would love your help!!

I believe that God is leading me to create a new YouVersion Bible App Reading Plan. I have been blown away by how many people have responded to the other two plans I created (as of today, over 137,000). I give God all of the glory and a huge thank you to YouVersion for allowing me to just be a small part of the healing process that He is doing in their lives. I am extremely humbled.

Soooooooo, what next?

I WOULD LOVE YOUR HELP!!

I know that you may not be ready to share about your divorce situation, and I am totally fine with that. If you are not, you may skip the rest of this post. Feel free to check out any of the other posts I have on this blog. May they give you the help and direction you need during this time in your life. Check back soon because I will be creating another new blog post soon and would love to know what you think.

If you are at a point where I could ask you to suggest topics for my next Reading Plan, I would LOVE for you to help me out.

TITLE: (pending) DIVORCE TO HEALING: THE FIRST 7 DAYS

REQUEST: In as much detail as you feel willing to share; describe the first 7 days of your divorce and what helped you out the most in those 7 days? Can you narrow it down to a few different topics? Are there specific feelings of fear, regret, anger, etc.. that dominated that time? Looking back, if you had a Reading Plan offering assistance during that time, what 7 things would have given you the most help during those first 7 days?

I know this may not be something you feel comfortable to share, and I totally understand. I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share, if you feel like God has gotten you to a point where you are willing to help others with your experience.

Go ahead and leave your thoughts in the comments. If you would like to share, but would only like to share with me in private, go ahead and send me a personal email at divorcetohealing@gmail.com and I will keep your comments between us.

Ask God what He would have you share. You may have an insight that could change the life for someone just like you, a person forever changed by the pain of divorce.

I want to say thank you in advance. I know this may be tough for some people. God has brought some of you to a place where you are ready to share your thoughts. He has given you a testimony in how He has helped you gain wisdom and peace through your healing process. Now is a great time to share your thoughts.

Thank you all for taking a few moments to give me a greater look into what it takes to handle the first 7 days of a divorce. I don’t take it lightly. I appreciate each and every one of you.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

The Healing Triangle

Think about a triangle. Any triangle. It may have different lengths and odd angles. It may be large or small. It may look different to each person, depending on how they look at it. Yet, there are certain characteristics of a triangle that each one has that are the same:

  1. They all started at a specific point.
  2. They all are created with 3 sides.
  3. They all end up at the original point, but from a different point of view.

There is a point in our life when things become extremely difficult and life-changing like divorce. There needs to be a change. We need to move away from that point. We need to create movement away from that specific point.

It is not easy. It takes energy and a decision to move forward. But what direction do I need to move? What if I head in the wrong direction?

I may present an unpopular point here, and I may take a little flack with it, but I think in the end it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you move away from that point, in ANY direction.

Make a decision to move on, and then start moving.

Think about how you would draw a triangle. You start with your pen or pencil on a specific point and than you move away from that point in a straight line. Just get moving. Go. Move away from it. It is time to leave that point, and it starts with the decision and movement.

Create the first side of your healing triangle.

But you may ask, what if I head in the wrong direction? Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter. What actually matters is that you start creating something new. Get moving.

When do you stop moving in that direction? It is different for everyone.

Just like every triangle can look different, so will your triangle. If you want that first side to be long to get as far away as you can from the specific point you are leaving, that is fine.

Sometimes the hurt and pain will cause you to head in a certain direction longer that others. You are on a journey that is meant only for you. You are unique and your healing will look different than anyone else’s healing.

There will come a time when you get tired of just moving away from that painful time in your life. You will realize that you are far enough away and it is time to make a shift. It may be to the left, it may be to the right.

Does it matter which way I turn? Again, it is your decision.

At this new point, it DOES matter which way you turn. You have to turn. You can’t just keep running away from that painful point.

You will come to the realization that if you just keep running from it, you will never be able to heal from it. You must be able to see that point from a different perspective. You need to start creating the second side of your healing triangle, and you must choose to turn right or left.

There are only two directions to choose from, right or left. Which direction will you take?

One direction leads you in a positive direction, one that will lead you to seek what good can come from your current situation. The other direction leads you in negative direction, one that will lead you down a path of negativity and an unhealthy mindset towards what happened and where you will ultimately end up.

Don’t make that decision without truly understanding which way you should turn. It will make a world of difference in the rest of your life. How will you heal from that point in your life that you would rather forget about and put behind you?

It does matter which way you turn. You will understand in a minute, how important this decision is and how it will change your whole life moving forward.

You are creating your first angle with this turn. Here is your next decision and another specific point in your life. It will change the direction of your life.

Choose Jesus. Choose the path towards the only one who can help you make sense of what happened. Choose the direction towards understanding and peace. Trust me. It is the best direction.

Yet, the decision is yours. When you truly see how much your life will be affected by taking the positive direction and how your healing triangle comes together, you will look back at this next specific point where you shifted your direction and be thankful you did.

You are now heading in a new direction. What kind of angle did you take?

A triangle is created by 3 angles and 3 sides.

The angle determines two things:

  1. Your commitment and trust to the healing process.
  2. Your faith in the healing process which determines how long it will take to heal.

Think about your healing triangle again. You are now creating that second side. You have committed to a change of direction, but at what angle?

Are you still heading away from that painful point in your life? Are you still running? Are you moving sideways, not wanting to hurt, but realizing that you need to stop running so you can address the pain before losing any more time?

Did you realize that the only way to move on is to take a sharp angle towards the understanding and truth that Jesus has for you? Do you trust Him and not yourself for the healing? The sharper the angle towards God will bring greater healing in a shorter time frame.

You can decide how long your healing will take by how sharp of an angle you take towards God and the healing He has for you.

Think about it. If you take a shallow angle and just put a little faith and commitment into your healing, you will end up having a much longer way to travel back to complete your healing triangle.

In order to complete a triangle, the second side leads to the second angle. That second angle is what you need to head towards completing your triangle.

The first angle determines your second angle.

The length of the second side (time spent before creating your second angle) is also a choice. How long do you want your second side to be? Everyone’s healing triangle is unique. It does take time. Don’t sweat it. Everyone’s healing times are different. Just don’t take forever to make your final decision. You will never complete your triangle until you do.

There will come that time when you are ready to look back at your original starting point because you want to complete your healing triangle, the healing process.

Here is where all of your decisions up to this point (the length of the first side, your decision to turn left or right, degree of that first angle, the length of the second side) all factor into the next step.

As you look back at that painful point in your life, you need to go back there to complete your healing triangle. Let me explain:

You need to be able to see what happened to you from a different perspective.

Your first angle determines how far you still have to go to complete your triangle. It also determines how sharp of an angle you now need to take in order to complete your triangle as well.

How long you took until you decided to turn (your second side) and face your past with a new perspective determines how much more time you have to complete your triangle.

Are you ready? Have you decided it is time to address the pain from a new perspective?

Let’s back up to your first angle: Did you take right turn? Did you choose the correct direction to turn? Are you heading back towards your painful past with understand, truth, and peace you received in the healing process from God? Did you make the wrong turn?

Before you finally connect the dots and complete your triangle, make sure you are seeing your pain through the grace, mercy, love, acceptance, healing, peace, and understanding of the only one who can heal a broken heart :Jesus!!

If you took the wrong turn, that is ok. Stop. Turn back. Return to where you made the wrong decision and create a new angle. Do it more than once if needed.

You need to see your pain from a positive direction with the eyes of God if you are ever going to fully and completely be healed from your pain. Trust me. It is the only way you will fully be able to move on without the baggage and unresolved issues that divorce or other painful event has caused you.

Did you take a positive, Godly angle when you were done running? Are you ready to complete your triangle?

Realize that whatever angle you took and the length of time you spent before making your second angle doesn’t really matter in the scheme of healing. It may add time and some uncomfortable times before you complete, but you are doing it; YOU ARE HEALING!!

Make the decision to head back to that painful point. With your new Godly perspective, make your second angle and connect the dots.

See your pain through God’s eyes. You can’t change it. It happened. It was painful.

As you complete your triangle, it may still hurt, but as you close your triangle know that healing is being completed. It may not feel like it, but it is. God is healing you. You decided how long and at what angles your healing took, but God brought you back here; to the point of your pain.

Complete your triangle. Let God hold your hand as you complete it. Ask Him to heal you completely as you trust Him to finish the work.

It is ok to shed tears. It is ok to still not understand why. It is ok. You will be ok.

You took the angle that led towards God and brought you back to the most painful point of your life with a fresh, Godly perspective; one that includes truth, peace, and understanding.

You are healed. Thank Him for healing you.

Give God the glory as you now move forward into all that He has for you.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” — Romans 8:28

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

 

 

Prayer Project: Day 11 “Thankfulness”

Day 11: “Thankfulness  When you can see and be thankful for the things you still have left, it will allow you to realize that things aren’t as bad as they could be.  Be thankful for what you have, because you may be surprised.

Resource list:

Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness Reading Plan

Divorce to Healing: Survive and Thrive Reading Plan

Divorce to Healing Blog

Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness Book

Thankfulness

I know it hurts….I know some days, all you want to do is take a breath….some days you might want to not even do that….

A year ago, a friend of mine lost his battle with cancer. He left a wife with 6 children, from college age to a 1-year-old. How can life be so cruel? How can the pain go beyond what you can handle?

This week, my wife had a friend at work who lost her husband to cancer. She has another that is ready to as well. Why? Does any explanation even matter, since it rarely brings any kind of peace or understanding?

I continue to have friends give up on their marriages and feel that the grass on the other side is better or having to deal with a spouse that did….some days I wonder why I even speak my mind.

When we get to points in our lives and are hanging on by hangnails because our fingernails have all but worn out, what next?

THANKFULNESS

No amount of advice or counseling can do what thankfulness does.

When you can give thanks in the midst of your trials and your pain, you are choosing to put your pain aside to recognize what you have, not what you have lost.

It may sound too simple, but let me reassure you it is not easy. If you are thinking that you can heal from any kind of pain without being thankful, especially the loss of a loved one or a marriage, than you are mistaken.

Take a few minutes right now and grab a notepad or your journal. I would like you to do something for yourself.

Make a list of all the things you can think of that you have that you are thankful for still having. Do you have children, even though you may now be a single parent? Do you have a job, even though you will need to move to a cheaper home or apartment? Do you still have those friends that are standing with you through thick and thin, even though your best friend(s) may have left you?

If you cannot come up with at least 10 things you can put on your list, let me give you 10. Maybe you will just need help to start, but take this seriously. You can come up with a lot of things you can be thankful for including;

Life, breath, peace, family, friends, parents, children, health, job, wisdom, insight, relationships, church family, hobbies, nature, etc…

If you have not done your list of at least 10, stop and go back and do it. You will need it to move on to the next point I want to make. Please, it is vital to your healing……

Next, I want you to find a place where you can be alone and quiet for a few minutes. Read your list OUT LOUD.(Very important). Read them out loud in this manner, “I am thankful for _________________.” Stop and really think about that person/thing that you have written down. Why are you thankful for them? Why did you write those down?

Now take your list and make at least 2 other copies of it. Condense them if you need onto a smaller 5×7 card, notepad sheet, etc… Why 2 more copies? Just trust me..

Are you done with the last point? If you are ready, then I am going to ask you to make a choice to do one of 2 things. Every choice we make has consequences, so decide wisely.

Take your lists and hold them in your hand. Now, decide to be thankful for everything you wrote on those lists, DAILY!!! How you are going to do this is to place these three lists in three different locations. I would place one with your bible, place one on your bathroom mirror, and place the other one at your job where you will see it every day. Will you do that?

By seeing what you are thankful for each and every day you will have something to hold onto, something to show you that will forever change without you!!!

Take a few minutes whenever you see these lists to stop and just thank God for the people and things on your lists. He already knows them, but wants you to realize how important they are and that they are actually blessings from Him to you.

Do you know why they are blessings? Because He thought enough to give them to you and entrust them to you. They are important to you, but they are even more important to Him. They are what connects you to Him in this time of heartache and pain.

So what is the other choice? Simple. With those lists in your hand, get up and go over to the trashcan and throw them away. Simple, right?

Be thankful for what you have. Someone is thankful they have you, especially God.

 

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