Day 613 STOP CHEATING NOW

WOW…..now that is some raw truth, right there!!!!

My New Life

After always trying to make people laugh I will try again. What kind of roads do ghosts hunt? Dead Ends. Thats funny I don’t care who you are. Are you aware that tomorrow is the greatest month on the calendar. You know why because my mom and I were born in October. I know you understand now.

Besides the death of significant other there is nothing more painful than cheating. I would argue that cheating is worse because there is never an end to the thoughts of why. The pain runs deep and you can never say anything that makes it better. You fall in love with who you think will be your everything, you will be together forever, and you never think that this person that stood with you and said they wanted to be with you forever can just leave you and not really have an other emotion…

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Friendly Advice

Here we go again, having to listen to someone’s idea of what I need to do…OK…LET ME HAVE IT!!!!!

(clenching fists inside of crossed arms, clenched teeth hiding pain while wanting to bite their head off….)

Sound familiar? They mean well, and deep inside you know that, but it is so hard to keep listening to it sometimes.

Last night, I had a friend call me. He usually calls me every week or so to chat, usually to let me know how he is doing. About every 4-6 weeks, I know that this call will take about an hour or more because he is in his funk again. Up one day, down the next.

I am honored he calls me. I look forward to being able to let God speak to him through me to encourage him and to help talk him back from the ledge every few weeks. It confirms that God has a purpose for me to help out my friend and that I may be the only person in his life that he can truly reach out to. Hopefully he gets some life-giving words to get him through the days/nights/weeks to come.

I do not think that I am all that or that I am anything special because of this relationship I have with him. I am just a human trying to be real with my friend and to help him out in his time of need. I am not a counselor or an expert in any way. I just have a heart for people.

How do you feel when someone gives their advice? Did you honestly ask for it? Did someone just stick their nose right in and give you some?

Let’s first address the uninvited advice:

You can handle it one of two ways. 1) Repeat after me …….”BUZZ OFF” (or hopefully replace with a kind, profane-free statement that means about the same thing) or 2) Politely listen to the advice and thank them for it. If you cherish that relationship, please be sensitive to the heart of the person giving you the advice and then proceed. I would recommend going to God in your prayer time with that advice and just lift it to Him, asking Him to clarify the message and then give you peace if you need to heed that advice.

Uninvited advice may be exactly what you need to hear, but are not open to it yet. It may be totally selfish (on their part) and makes no sense at all. It may just pile on to your already overloaded emotions and the soil of your soul is not ready to accept a seed of blessing that has come your way. In giving you advice without you asking for it, they are trying to help and reaching out to you because they have an agenda. It may be a selfish agenda, but an agenda none the less. It may be a genuine agenda that is only coming from a desire to help ease the pain and provide Godly advice, but without asking for it they are running the risk of it going in your right ear and exiting head left.

I believe that most well-adjusted people will desire to give advice to you from the perspective of having your best interest in mind. If they only give advice to further their own agenda, I would qualify those people as the enemy to your well-being. If they are thinking of themselves and how their advice to you helps them out without caring how it will affect you in the short and long-term, realize that you are being manipulated and you are heading down a path to more pain and suffering.

Now, let’s address the invited advice:

Before we do that, let me warn you: If you ask for it, be ready to feel every kind of emotion. You will feel enraged, pissed, sad, agreeable, confused, happy, amazed, dumbfounded, etc… If you are not ready to address your situation head on, you need to back up a step and just gather yourself. Advice will only do good if you are ready to hear it. Without open ears and an open heart, you might as well grab a magic 8 ball, shake, read, and repeat until you are ready. Take stock of your situation and accept it. Have the strength to face it head on. If you are not there, take some time right now to ask God to help you get prepared to accept the advice you need.

So now you feel like you are ready. I applaud you. Some people live a life of never accepting where they are and end up carrying the baggage of their pain the rest of their life.

Thank you for having the courage to ask for the advice and the help you need.

Your adviser can be a professional counselor, pastor, or friend. Whoever it is, just be able to let them know everything about your situation. How can you expect honest advice without being honest with your adviser? If they do not know your true feelings and all that you know about your situation (not just what you want them to know), how can they give you the advice you need that will actually help you?

Just be willing to lay everything out before them. Listen with an open heart, open mind, and open soul. Be real with them so they can be real with you.

Remember, if you ask for advice, just be ready to get an earful.

You may just get the answers you need, not necessarily the answers you are looking for.

But now what?

You got this great advice, What are you going to do with it?

Comment below…… and be blessed!!

Time

It is amazing how fast the last 7+ months have gone.

While I was having knee surgery, leaving a job of almost 17 years to start a travel business, spending the summer with my daughter so she didn’t have to go to summer camps every week, and generally feeling semi-retired; I realized one thing:

Time never stops and it will go on without you.

I hate the saying that time heals all wounds. That is a lie. Time does not heal.

Over time, you either do the things that will bring you to wholeness and healing, or you don’t. You may choose to bury your feelings or just react to whatever is going on today. You might just let life pass you by while you exist.

How do you spend your time? Do you use it, or do you lose it?

In a lot of ways, the last 7 months has been a huge success. I stepped out in faith to leave a very good paying job to work from home in a travel business while taking over some of the duties around the house to support our family. I am actively engaged in a new profession, have grown closer to my daughter at a very impressionable age, and helped my wife feel confident in being able to step into a career advancement that she would never have considered if things had remained the same.

In a lot of ways, the last 7 months have been a huge failure. I have neglected pouring into other people what I know they need through this blog, delayed writing a book that can help so many people, and not taken full advantage of opportunities to maximize the best use of the freedom I have had to do all that God has called me to do.

Now what? Maybe you feel the same way about your recent past.

The last thing any of us need to do is to dwell on the negative, the part of the past that has only produced worry, pain, loss, and discouragement. Just like our bodies, aging every day whether we like it or not, time keeps moving.

So what should I do with the negative? Learn from it and MOVE ON!! Realize the errors you made and do not repeat them. Don’t sit with those things that only want to remind you of your short-comings and where you missed it. You are stronger than that!! Just know that it is your daily choice to live with the problems of the past. There may still be consequences to deal with, but you can move through them with the help of God and others.

I have realized that the greatest step in faith I have ever taken since becoming a Christian, was during the last 7 months. I have grown closer to my wife and family while at the same time learning life lessons that I only dreamed would come years later.

Have I made the best use of my time the last 7 months? Yes and no.

If I had to do it all over again, would I change any of it? Yes and no.

Those are discussions that could go on forever……and I don’t have the time…;)

The question for you today is this— What are you going to do at this moment in time? It really is that simple. Good or bad, invest or waste?

What you do now will have more to say about your future than all the moments in the past. You cannot create your future today if you are making your today the past.If you choose to relive the past, get ready to relive the pain, regret, and heartache.

 

Take the precious time you have today to do whatever it takes to move on from your past.

TIME. Don’t give it away. Take it, and make it work for you. This very moment is already gone. Another one is here.

What are you going to do at THIS moment in time?

 

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