Tag: plan

The Right Plan

Today is January 1st.

With the start of a new year, people set goals and make plans for the next year. They may also reflect and review the past year to celebrate wins and learn from the losses.

When it comes to marriage, I believe people have hope and dreams for an amazing life-long relationship that brings joy, excitement, and togetherness. A man and a woman will stand before their family and friends or maybe a justice of the peace to make promises that they are ill prepared to keep within divine intervention.

We may try to make plans on how our lives will come together and grow, but it seems like virtually every marriage is fighting an uphill battle against attacks from the culture, situations, and selfishness of this world.

I don’t remember sitting down with my soon to be wife to hash out how we are going to handle our first fight, how we are going to react when a close friend hurts us, or the fender bender on the new car we financed for 6 years.

Planning is essential for growth. Change happens whether we are ready or not. Growth is change within the boundaries and nourishment of wisdom and time.

If you are reading this blog, the plans you had for your marriage did not produce the results you desired. It could be for a myriad of reasons. The reasons for your divorce or separation are not as important as what your next steps will be. You need a new plan.

The Right Plan.

Do you remember the story of David and Bathsheba?

In 2 Samuel 11, we read about the moral failure of David that led him to adultery and murder. He had a plan to make Bathsheba his wife after he had already gotten her pregnant, but this was far from the right plan.

David murdered Uriah by making a plan for him to be killed on the battlefield so that he could take Bathsheba as his wife and cover up what he had done. The consequences of his plan were a child who was born sick and died 7 days later, even after fasting and praying to God.

David looked away from God and towards the things of this world. His plans was not the right plan.

Because of his disobedience to God and wanting to fulfill his worldly desires, his life and history was changed. David lost a child, murdered a faithful warrior, and was not allowed to build the temple.

Before David was his father Saul, the first king of Israel. Did you know that God didn’t want Israel to have a king? (Samuel 8)

Samuel the prophet appointed his sons as judges for the people of Israel. The sons did not walk in God’s way so the elders of Israel wanted Samuel to anoint a king to lead the nation.

Samuel prayed to God and God told Samuel that the people did not reject him, they rejected God so give them what they want. The elder’s plan was to have a king for the nation like all the other nations.

Samuel told the elders all of the ways a king would enslave and oppress them. The following verse shook me when I read it:

1 Samuel 8:18

18 And in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”

Could the plans of mankind hinder God from answered prayer?

Could you be doing everything right in the sight of the Lord and still find yourself waiting for an answer from God? Sure. God has His ways and His timing. Your prayers are many times answered not in the way you expected or in the time you hoped.

Sometimes all it seems like I do is pray for things and people (healing, peace, provision, etc). Maybe God just wants me to go deeper and listen to Him instead of trying to fill the time with requests.

He already knows what we need. He wants to spend time with you and to speak hope into your life. Give Him more opportunity to respond as you grow in your relationship with Him.

God wants His best for us, but not at the expense of our free will. He gives us the opportunity to live this life blessed as we sacrifice our lives to follow Jesus and the leading of the Holy Spirit. He gave us the free will to make plans, and the best plans are those that bring God glory.

Let’s take a moment and evaluate our plans. Do we have any plans or are we just letting life carry us along?

What is the Right Plan?

Is Jesus in the forefront of your plan? Have you given your wants, needs, desires, feelings, thoughts, and urges to Him? Have you taken time to let Him speak to you and not just toss requests up to Heaven?

How do you know you have the Right Plan?

Does it glorify God? Does it help others? Does it lead you closer to Jesus? Does it bring you peace? Does it make this world better? Does it provide growth in your relationships, especially with God?

If you have read this far on this post, you will see that our faith must be open to not knowing the answer. Faith that you are on the right path with the Right Plan takes letting go and letting God lead. He will give you His plan, if you ask for it. Be patient and obedient to fully grasp all that God is doing through that plan.

Proverbs 16:9

9 The heart of man plans his way,
    but the Lord establishes his steps.

You will get the Right Plan. Trust God and let Him lead you.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
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If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

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Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Much love!!

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The Bridge

So many cliches about bridges. Here comes another one.

I hope not. I pray that our few moments together can speak something different about you, your present situation, and what is next.

I am going to reference a bridge, but I believe God has something for you that you may not have considered before today.

It is said that a bridge carries you from your past to your future. What if it is created to carry you from your present to your destiny instead? Instead of a bridge over troubled water, could it be a bridge over the unknown?

I challenge you to envision the bridge that will carry you and your dreams to God’s plan for you.

Anyone who has encountered the pain of divorce knows that dreams of a life-long love with the spouse of your youth was to be a dream realized through a lifetime of sharing and enjoying each other. You had desires and plans to grow old together while enjoying the fruits of your labor and the family you created through your marriage. Now it is gone.

There are many kinds of bridges. Let’s take a looks at a few.

The quickest and simplest bridge is actually what people would call a tightrope. It is a single piece of material that can literally be thrown over to the other side. I could preach a whole message on the person who is on the other side telling you this is a good idea. Let’s just not go down that rabbit trail.

You see a tight piece of material that looks like it is connected securely to your destiny. I guess the next thing to do is walk across, right? What is stopping you?

Some people think this should be the way across the great divide to their destiny; simple, easy, and fast. Yes, it can be unsafe and less than secure, but let’s move out of the pain of our present.

I don’t recommend this. Being in your present doesn’t mean you want or desire to be there.

Your present is only where you are at this moment in time. You get to choose how you exist there as you prepare to move forward.

Now a rope bridge that has some rickety wooden planks for steps looks safer and still a relatively quick way across to the other side. To each his/her own.

Crossing a bridge usually entails some time and effort. I just prefer not swinging in the wind, trusting those old pieces of wood to hold my weight long enough to make another step without splitting in two pieces causing me to grab on for dear life.

Some have the patience and desire to build a wood suspension bridge, put together with wood and nails. This kind of bridge take longer to build, but if it is not created with the correct angles and secure materials, it may not allow a truly secure means of crossing. It can be done, but is it the safest and strongest way across?

I am afraid of heights, and sometimes driving over a bridge I may get a little uneasy if it is windy and I am stuck in the lane next to the edge driving 65 mph between a dump truck and a slower RV praying he gets to the top.

The strongest, safest, and easiest way to cross the depths of despair and disappointment to reach the destiny God has for you is to realize that it takes time to create the bridge of healing.

It takes pilons driven into a solid foundation. It takes materials of strength, forged from steel that will not buckle under the weight of what God has you to carry across this great expanse. It takes time to design, engineer, supply, and construct a masterpiece to carry you to your God-given destiny.

The bridge that God has for you is a bridge not made with human hands, but crafted by an Almighty God who loves and cares for you.

You bring your belief, your faith, and your obedience and God will drive those pilons of relationship deep into His created earth.

He already has the design ready to go. He is looking for your faith to step out with Him into laying the beams of faith, one after another, over the foggy clouds of fear you may have. He is waiting for you to supply the obedience of following His plan and timing to create a safe crossing into your destiny.

Don’t try to cut corners and try to jump the divide like Evil Knievel. It will only result in more pain and suffering. You may not be in the present place you are now, but you will usually find yourself much worse off than where you are now.

My heart goes out to those who attempted the quick and easy way to healing. The vast majority would do it differently, if they are being honest.

The strength, security, and ease of crossing the bridge built God’s way is more than just a way to leave your present. It is a means of bringing the extremely valuable gifts, talents, and treasures you possess with you into His destiny for you. These are meant to come with you.

This bridge is not created to carry your baggage. Leave it behind. You have to much good to carry. You do not have the space or the need for it.

You also need to bring the right people with you on your journey. God will provide others that have His heart and desire to support you as you build this bridge with Him. You didn’t think God would let you and Him build it alone, did you? God wants loving, supportive people to build this bridge to your healing so that you have someone to celebrate with on the other side.

What kind of bridge are you building? Whose plans are you using? Who is on the other end helping you?

Take the time to build with God. A bridge created with belief, faith, and obedience will provide you the way to the other side, from your present to your destiny; God’s destiny for you.

Be Blessed!!

Have you listened to the Divorce to Healing Podcast? Check it out HERE !!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
(over 180,000 downloads to date)
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

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This Is Not What I Asked For

Separation? Divorce? Pain? Financial Ruin? Loss?

Today at church, our pastor started a new series called “This Is Not What I Asked For”.

Wow!! What a way to get me to finally update the blog with a new post.

I couldn’t help but be taken back in my mind to when I was left broken hearted and betrayed. Twice. I did not plan for that. I did not want that. I did not ask for that.

I am sure if you are not in that place right now, you have experienced those feelings in the past. I am right there with you again.

God has a way of taking us to our past to move us forward from our present to His future.

As God reminds me of those things that I have long since forgotten and been healed from, I have a fresh desire to help you through your struggles and healing process.

I have become too comfortable and busy in my own life and with my own family. I have been making plans and living life far removed from the pain where I once lived.

In many ways, that should encourage you. It has been over 18 years and I can tell you that taking God’s hand and letting him heal me completely was the greatest thing that has ever allowed me to move forward. It is the only way to fully and completely overcome what you are going through today.

Yet, it has allowed me to try to make plans that do not include my passion; helping others. I have been failing that part of the reason I experienced all of the pain and suffering.

I have given God the glory for the healing, yet not moved on into the fullness that He has had for me. Please don’t make the same mistakes I have made.

My plans in life of getting married and living happily ever after didn’t happen. Twice. Now after being happily married for over 18 years and experiencing my greatest life to this point, it is not enough.

My wife and I are more in love and growing more in love every day. We have 2 beautiful children and are recently new grandparents of a little grand-daughter. Yet, these were not my plans.

This is not what I asked for. It is actually what God has blessed me with, even though I messed up so many times and chose my plans. I didn’t need to experience that, but I am so thankful for what I have now.

This might be confusing. It looks like from the outside I have it all.

I never experienced divorce as a child. My parents are still together and a blessing to all of us kids. I grew up in a together home. Not perfect, but together and loving.

THAT is what I asked for when I got married. But that is not what I got. I got cheated on and abandoned. I got treated like the bad guy. My plans got dismissed and trashed like a left over gum wrapper.

Twice.

I am now much closer to what I asked for. Helping you is also a part of that.

It is ok to realize that the plans we make fail. It may be our fault and it may not. It may be through a tragic loss, abuse, adultery, or a large number of reasons. We are human. We are not perfect, and neither are the people in our lives.

It is ok to make plans and strive every day to make those plans work. My wife and daughter are huge planners. They love making a plan and completing it. If it wasn’t for plans we would not have raised skyscrapers or put a man on the moon. I can guarantee you that NONE of those things happened with out a change of plans.

A rough draft is just that; rough. The best plans are those that figure in all the contingencies, yet are able to flex and adapt to the changes needed. Even final plans end with a punch list where you need to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s before the plans are complete.

God has plans for you and your life.

I am still learning this after over 25 years of marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, and marriage.

We can’t change the past, yet we can learn from it as we heal from it with Jesus!!

I want to encourage you today to know that God’s plans for you are the BEST plans for you.

Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What are your plans? Are they YOUR plans, or are they GOD’s plans?

Know that God loves you and is ready and willing to share His plans for you as you spend time in His Word, praying, worshipping Him, and being around your church family through a group and attending in person or online.

The ultimate plan changer is the One who has the Master plan.

Interesting why that is the name of the plan, isn’t it?

Here is a link to the message from Pastor John Wyatt with Celebration Church from Jacksonville, FL if you would like to see it:

Be Blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
(over 180,000 downloads to date)
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Much love!!

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What Next?

What do you do when you look at your marriage, family, or home and all you see is a pile of rubble?  Do you just want to cry and give up?  Is it even worth the time and effort to do anything but just leave and never look back?

Jesus knows.  He sees you right there in the midst of the decay and destruction.  He wants you to know that He knows.  He saw what happened.  He knows how it happened.  He knows how you feel.  He wants to walk through all of this with you.

Allstate says ” You’re in good hands with Allstate”.

State Farm says, “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there”.

Good marketing, lousy counseling.

God says, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”.  Heb 13:5b

God says, “And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you”.  Psalm 9:10

I suggest you jump into the arms of Jesus and know that God is always with you, not just until a claim is paid and your rates go up.

Healing from divorce and separation is not a simple 10 step plan to wellness.  A fancy flowchart is not going to make you feel any better.

You are on a journey that is unlike any other’s journey that has ever experienced a breakup.  You may or may not have children.  You may or may not have been the cheater or the one that was cheated on.  Every relationship and divorce is different.

It is hard telling you what to do next.  I don’t know what specifics you would tell me about your situation if we could chat over an Orange Ginger Herbal Tea at Panera. (Very good!!)

First, I would give you a hug.  So many times, all people need is someone to be the physical expression of Jesus giving you a shoulder to cry on and a gentle hug to make you know that someone cares.

Second, I would listen to you.  I would let you get it all out.  Tell me how horrible that %@$!^#%@ is and how they have made your life a living hell.  I would be patient and actively engage you as you explain your side of the story.  You need to tell it in a safe and protected environment, getting a release from some of the pressure you feel.

Third, I would want you take stock of what you have and the blessings you still enjoy today. Right now, you are breathing, and whether you realize it or not, that is a miracle!!  God wants you to live and to experience His love while you move through this difficult time.  You still have purpose and a reason to be here on earth.  If you have a roof over your head, a job, children, and other family and friends to be around, then you have something a lot of people do not have.

Fourth, I would suggest whatever professional help you need, even if it’s just a few discussions with a pastor or someone in a care ministry at your local church.  See a therapist (preferably a Christian) that understands not just the mental issues that you are facing, but can address everything from a perspective of your spiritual well-being as well.  We are a 3-part being; spirit, soul, and body  God’s perspective is beyond human knowledge. Why wouldn’t you ask for His help?

Fifth, I would encourage you to be around other positive, Godly people who will tell you the truth in love and walk this road with you.  It is hard to hear hard things about us sometimes, but a true friend that hurts a little is better that someone telling you half truths and just wants to tell you what you want to hear.

Sixth, I would help you to discover a simple, inexpensive stress reliever (not drugs or alcohol). Maybe start using adult coloring books, learn cross-stitching, grab a fishing pole and find a new fishing spot, read a book instead of watching tv, take up gardening, volunteer at church or in the community, or anything else that will occupy your mind on something other than what you tend to stress about.

Seventh, I would encourage you to start dreaming again.  It may seem strange and you may not feel like it, especially now, but if you aren’t looking forward to something positive, you will naturally sink back or remain stuck where you are.  Don’t be the nation of Israel and keep going around the same mountain for 40 years.  Trust in God’s Word and have faith in Him as He leads you to a new land that will be beyond what you could ever imagine.

Eighth, I need you to be realistic.  You can’t change the past.  You can’t make someone love you.  You can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do.  People can be hurtful, destructive, and absolutely crazy.  That includes you and me.  We are all human.  You may never know why.  You may never fully understand how God is going to make anything good come from this.  That is okay.  It is not your job to know everything, but it is your responsibility to lean on Jesus and allow His Holy Spirit to fill in the gaps.

Ninth, I would pray for you out loud, placing a hand on your shoulder while I ask the God of the universe to come and invade your life.  I would ask Him to bring His Holy Spirit to dwell inside of you, filling the empty spaces and flowing through every part of your spirit, soul, and body.  I would pray that you are refreshed, renewed, and made new each day as the sun rises.

Tenth, I would tell you the most important thing that I can ever tell anyone experiencing separation and divorce; nothing YOU can ever say or do can ever make you whole.  NOTHING.  Only God and a growing relationship with Him through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus can bring the peace, comfort, healing, love, joy, fulfillment, forgiveness, and life that will bring you a total and complete wholeness.  Everything else is only a simple, partial, fractured feeling of relief until you fully understand the depth of love God has for you.

Don’t settle for anything less than what God has for you.

Accept His love.  Accept His open arms.  Accept His grace and mercy.  Accept Jesus.

I created 31 short prayer videos.  They are based on the 31 topics taken from the Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness book and reading plan.  Feel free to join me as I  pray for you on any of those specific issues or topics. Use this link to go to my YouTube channel.

What do you know?  Maybe there is a 10 step plan….

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

 

 

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Wrecked

Sometimes things just happen.  Sometimes you can fix the damage.  Sometimes there is a death.  Sometimes you walk away praising God that He protected you.

Today I heard a message from my pastor that wrecked me, in a good way.  It opened my eyes to things from my past that has caused pain and issues in my past relationships.  I can honestly say God protected me in ways I can only see now, many years later.  In other ways, He brought up issues in my recent past and my present that I still need to deal with moving forward.

How do you handle the ‘wrecks’ of life?  If you are reading this blog, chances are it is the wreck of divorce or separation that has brought you here.  How are you handling it?

Are you sitting in the wreck, awake but in severe need of rescue?  Are you in pain and needing rehabilitation?  Are you recovering, but scared of what the future holds or if you ever want to get back in another vehicle (relationship)?  Wherever you are, it is ok.  God is with you, He loves you, and He wants to help you.

I wonder sometimes how many of you would want me to tell you to do more, give you more specific advice, and provide more direction.  I feel at times I need to do a better job of that, and I will.  My plan is to post more detailed encouragements and helps in the future.

I do believe that God wants to tell you Himself, in the perfect way that only He can do.  You will NEVER get any advice from any human being that is greater than the wisdom God can give.  I don’t care how many initials are after the person’s name, how many degrees and awards they have, or how high their IQ/EQ shows up on a test.

Job 12:13 (NLT)   “But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are his.”

I am always humbled by how many people I have been able to help over the years through leading marriage and divorce groups, providing Divorce to Healing Reading Plans on the YouVersion Bible app, and private discussions with people to help them out and on from the wrecks in their lives.  And that is why I feel wrecked now.

I realized today that I need to double, triple, and infinitely double down on what God has called me to do, which is to help those that need help at one of the toughest times in their life.  I will and I must because like you, God is calling me out of the wreck.  He is calling us all to move closer to Him and into what He has for us.

I am so looking forward to our futures together.  Take a few minutes and ask God where you are in the process of healing.  Ask Him what the next steps need to be.  Move into what He has for you, even if at this moment is to get over the shock of the wreck, unbuckle your seat belt, and survey the damage.

How can I help you in this process?  Feel free to leave me a comment and I will do my best to respond in person as soon as I can.

PRAYER:  Father God, may we all reach towards your helping and healing hands in this time of wreckage and damage.  We give you our lives and ask that you lead us today into the next step of the plan you have for us.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

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