Everyone and everything goes through seasons. It sounds so cliche, and yet it is so true. Maybe I can encourage you in a way you haven’t considered in the past. Then again, maybe not, but it is up to you to find out.
When it comes to divorce and relationships, we plan for the good times. We look forward to every day to be full of fruit, ripe for the taking. Every tree has the ability to grow and produce fruit, even if it is only seeds to continue the cycle of populating the earth with more of itself. Count me in for a nice big ripe Fuji apple or a giant Ruby Red Grapefruit from my friend’s tree. How about you?
Expectations that the tree will provide some sort of fruit, nut, or seed to help with providing for other’s enjoyment and to carry on the species is a good one. The problem with our expectations is that most times they are not realistic. We forget that it takes a full cycle of seasons in the life of the tree in order to reap a harvest or provision.
When do we celebrate the harsh winds and severe cold rain or snow that attacks the very life during the winter? In the fall, it looses all the strength it has to hold on to any fruit and leaves. It looks like it is dying. It never looks healthy and looses it’s “hair”, barren and naked. Springtime brings a time of struggle to gain the nutrients and water in order for life to be displayed yet again.
Most of it’s life is spent preparing for the fruitful season, which can be unbelievably short in extreme cases. The Amorphophallus titanum, or “Corpse Flower” is one of those. It takes 7-10 years before it blossoms for the first time and then in can take 3-10 years again before the next blossom. The odor it releases smells like death and the flower blossom lasts for only 24-48 hours.
Not much fruit, smells like a dead body, and takes forever for it to happen again.Some people may think that is what dating is like after divorce. That might be true for you. (Mental note: Future blog post on dating after divorce) Then again, it may just be the Axe body spray he is using.
It takes time for healing and to feel whole again. Don’t worry about how long it takes. Rushing through the healing process just causes you to drag baggage from one relationship to another. It isn’t fair for someone else to do it to you, so don’t do it to someone else. Invest in yourself and be ready when the time comes.
When the storms of life come, it is the roots that you can’t see that are rooted in the soil that will tell you if you will survive. If the roots are shallow, it doesn’t take much wind to blow you over. How do roots grow deep? In times of drought they must search deeper for water, thus stretching them towards the water. Too much water keeps the roots shallow while a lack of rain actually allows strength to come to the tree by developing the survival instinct to search out the water, no matter how deep. If it doesn’t reach for the water just beyond it’s reach, it will die. It may only be inches away, but it must struggle and reach the water to continue on to the next season.
There is always a spring. When you are in the fall and winter seasons in your life, it may seem so far off and it may even be late, but it WILL come.
If the tree doesn’t give up all the fruit, leaves, seeds, and nuts in the fall, it will not be able to weather the storm of winter. It needs to hibernate and save it’s energy for the season to come. There are times in our life that we must let go of things so we can enter a season of rest, preparing for new life to come forth through us. New fruit. New seed.
People notice the growth during the spring season. Think of this, though. If you would not have taken the time to rest and heal during the winter and storm season with no protection and fruit showing, you would not be ready to grow beyond where you were in the last season and bear the fruit you are meant to bring forth in the next season.
Be encouraged. No matter what season you are in, know that you are meant to grow, bear fruit, let go of what you must, weather the storms of life while resting, and getting ready to do it all again. Don’t think you can skip seasons. You can’t, so stop trying. Just accept the fact and get excited for the next season.
Divorce to Healing 
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