Healing a Broken Heart

They say that ‘time heals all wounds’. Sorry to tell you this, but that is a load of fertilizer!!! (PG)

A sprained ankle takes 5-14 days to heal. A broken leg takes 6-8 weeks to heal. A heart attack takes 2-3 months to heal. A stoke takes 3-24 months to heal, sometimes not completely.

How long does it take to heal a broken heart? When does the pain end? Will I ever feel good again?

broken heart (also known as a heartbreak or heartache) is a term metaphor for the intense emotional—and sometimes physical—stress or pain one feels at experiencing great longing. The concept is cross-cultural, often cited with reference to a desired or lost lover, and dates back at least 3,000 years. Emotional pain that is severe can cause ‘broken heart syndrome’, including physical damage to the heart. ~~~ Wikipedia

Physical healing takes many forms, depending on the injury/disease that needs to be addressed. From doctors and nurses to fluids and gauze, things must be addressed with the final result in mind. There is a plan, a course of action showing the way to the desired result; healing.

“The oxygen (air) and nutrients (food) that new blood carries to the wound are crucial to the healing process. By improving circulation and blood flow, more healing nutrients and oxygen reach the cells.”~~ Blood, Oxygen, & Wound Healing – UnityPoint Health

When it comes to physical healing, the importance of blood flow and the blood itself cannot be understated. Without blood, it will not survive.

Blood is made up of:

  1. Red blood cells – carries oxygen throughout the body
  2. White blood cells – fight infections
  3. Platelets – cells that help you stop bleeding if you get cut
  4. Plasma – a yellowish liquid that carries nutrients, hormones, and proteins throughout the body

You can now see how important the blood is to the life of a body, especially if it is hurting and wounded, or diseased and dying.

Just like a healthy physical heart pumps life-giving blood to the physical body, so does a healthy spiritual heart pump live-changing blood to our soul. When our heart is not healthy (ie broken), the rest of our body (soul) suffers and begins to die. WE NEED OPEN HEART SURGERY!!!

Jesus, our Great Physician, has a plan for healing the broken heart. You need to approve his OPEN heart surgery. You need to allow Him to be the One that fixes your heart. He needs you to sign the consent form, and trust Him to do the work.

Romans 10:9  If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. NLT

The plan for healing is to increase the blood flow to the broken heart. It needs the life-changing blood of Jesus to heal completely.

Spiritual blood is made up of:

  1. The Breathe of God – carries oxygen to the soul
  2. The Protection of God – fights invasions from the enemy (infections of the soul)
  3. The Mercy of God – helps your soul to stop bleeding in case you get hurt again
  4. The Word of God – carries the food, growth and strength throughout the soul

Can you heal from a broken heart without Jesus?

You may be able to get relief from pain and loneliness, move on to the next relationship, and tell yourself you are ok.  Having gone through 2 divorces and with over 12 years of care ministry to those going through the divorce process, I can honestly say that those who surrendered completely to the full healing process of Jesus came through their divorce with the greatest ability to move forward in life successfully. Healed and whole.

I’m not saying it is all going to be rainbows and bubble gum. It is hard. It is tough. It may take years. Trust in the only healing that will bring complete and total restoration. Who wants to limp through life with a super-glued heart that has a murmur and only 3 working chambers?

No physical treatment program can fully and completely heal a broken heart. Don’t trust some friend who says to just get back in the saddle. Would you trust them to do open heart surgery on you physically? Why would you trust them to attempt to perform open heart surgery on your broken heart that is a part of your soul?

Only the Creator of the heart can heal a broken heart.

Open your heart. Give him control. Give it time. Be patient. Let the Great Physician do what only He can do.

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Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.

A Divorce to Healing Testimony: Scott

From Scott, in his own words.

Thank you, Scott!!!

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Been reading your devotionals on YouVersion. No truer words than these…
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This is the time you need to move on from destructive thoughts and behaviors. It is the time to move past accusations, pain, and fear.. It is time to move into a greater relationship with God and to move into all He still has for you.
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The one thing God has pressed upon me since I found out about her affair and when she moved out, was simply this… I must forgive her for ME to heal. It was something I knew, above all else, that I HAD to do!  It took me many prayers, screaming at God, crying out to Him, “God, I can’t do this!  I know I need to, but I can’t. And truthfully, I don’t want to!  But I know I need to.  I need You to help me do this!”
Through this, He changed my heart.  I was given the opportunity to forgive her face-to-face. I did.  She ignored me, changed the subject. But I discovered that it wasn’t about her response… it was about mine. And by being obedient that day when He told me, “Do it now.  Forgive her”  I was set free of so much that was weighing me down.
But then, God taught me something new!  He told me, as I quickly found out, that Forgiveness is NOT a one-and-done… it’s a daily process. I learned to stop saying simple prayers for her and start praying blessings over her!  I struggled with this, but now pray for her job, car, increase, protection, and still most importantly, her healing and return to God.  Even if it is not with me, I pray that I can see her healed and whole.
Thank you for being obedient to God in your ministry.  Thank you for helping others like me.  I have a friend going through a nasty divorce that I have asked to read your devotionals, as well.  Thank you.
BE blessed!
Scott
One thing I have continued to pray is that if I must go through this, that God would allow me to use it to help someone else. I never even imagined that I could do so before I got through this!  But He has called me to reach out to a few people, and I’ve been able to strengthen and encourage them… not because of me or what I did, but because of what God has done in and through me.
I know this won’t be easy to get through, but I know that in forgiveness I have found peace… even though it still hurts.
I literally feel like an amputee sometimes, like I’m missing part of me. I mean I am actually.  But through forgiveness (and prayer) come healing. You cannot have one without the other.  God has been so amazing through this. Thank you again!
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Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.

New Reading Plan Released!!

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Hi Everyone!!

So thankful and blessed by all of those who joined us last week for the daily postings of the new Reading Plan called, “Survive and Thrive”.

I just wanted to share that it has now been released on the YouVersion Bible App and you can now have it available instantly on your device.

Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.

Again, Thank you all for moving forward in your healing and letting me be a small part of that.

Be blessed!!

The Reflection

reflection

The new year always lends itself to reflection. Thinking of the past. Good and bad. Accomplishments and missed expectations. Successes and failures.

This year has been a sincere blessing for me in many ways, while also revealing my short comings.

Divorce to Healing has seen tremendous growth in exposure, readership, and engagement. It has also made me wonder where we fell short helping people.

On April 12th, the Divorce to Healing Reading Plan on the YouVersion Bible App was released. In less than 8 months, over 13,300 people engaged by downloading a free copy to a phone or other device. And thus began a seed of healing.

As of Dec 31st, over 4,800 people had completed all 31 days of the Reading Plan. And thus began the next steps in continued healing.

On August 31st, a paperback version of the Reading Plan with additional resources was released on Amazon. 16 copies were sold, 3 of which I bought and sent to my family. And even more people took a step towards wholeness.

On this blog, over 3000 views from over 1000 different people in 49 different countries were seeking wisdom, encouragement, and understanding to help them make sense of this thing we call divorce.

And yet, I wonder……

Did they all know that they have been prayed for daily? Have they allowed God to do the healing work in their hearts, minds, and souls that bring the only kind of peace that satisfies? Will they continue to reach out to their family, friends, counselors, pastors, and others for the help they still need? Have we helped in any small way?

Who is that next person that God wants to touch today? What is holding some people back? How can I be of greater service to my fellow man, struggling through the same pain and hurt I experienced?

As we continue down this path together, I want to thank you for letting God do His perfect work in you. I will be here with you and want you to know, you are not alone. There are many people that desire exactly what you do — healing & wholeness.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
We are here for you.
Be blessed!!

Amazing News!!!

Thank to all you you in the Divorce to Healing community!! I am blown away by how many of you have downloaded and completed the YouVersion Reading Plan. Thank you for giving God room to heal you and bring you closer to wholeness.

Feel free to share your comments below.

If you have not yet gone through the reading plan and want to, here is the link: http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/2440-divorce-to-healing-31-wholeness

If you want to connect via Facebook, join us:                                                       http://www.facebook.com/divorcetohealing

If you would like a copy of the book, it is available on Amazon:           http://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Healing-31-Days-Wholeness/dp/1530366364

Process of Time

time-eye

It is said that time heals all wounds. In my opinion, the process of time helps the healing process, but that is not what heals. Seeking wisdom on the correct path to fix the issues and following through with that wisdom is what will bring the healing, in the process of time.

If you break your arm, you wouldn’t just say “I’ll be ok. Time will heal it.”. Wrong. You will end up with an arm which tries to heal, but the bones are not set together and held tight by a cast so it can heal correctly. You may eventually not have pain, but you will have an arm that is much weaker and will be easier to break again in the future.

When we gain the wisdom of doctors for physical healing, they know that they must reset the bones as close together sometimes inserting screws to hold them together so that when the body heals (in the process of time) it will be as strong as it can be. It may never be as strong as it originally was, but if healed correctly, it will be usable again and able to withstand whatever comes next.

When we just move on from divorce and do not discover true wisdom on how to heal a broken heart, you are just expecting it to heal. It doesn’t work that way. It is like breaking your arm and not seeing the doctor. You are at a much higher risk of your heart being broken again and again because it never healed correctly.

One of the most vivid images I had when I was struggling through my own healing was what I felt was an open heart surgery. The image was of a huge slice all way from my neck to my stomach, and the scar that came from it. I had given all my hurt, pain, feelings, emotions, stress, and expectations to God and told Him to heal my heart. But it left a huge scar. I have it to this day. The scar of divorce.

Now, before you think that I despise the scar, I see it for what it is. An event that happened. And the scar is just proof of that.

Am I healed? Yes, thank you, Jesus!! Does it still hurt? No. Does the scar remind me of the greatest healing ever in my life? YESSSS!!!!

The scar is not a bad thing. When I realized that the consequences of an open heart surgery to fix my heart was a leftover scar, I came to grips with it. I now see it as a daily reminder of the amazing healing that has happened and that I can now share my testimony of my healing to many others. I can encourage them to know that healing is available, if they are willing to do what it takes to fix the issue (broken heart) not just letting it heal on it’s own. It will never heal correctly and be a heart that will not have the strength to handle the job of pumping life through your body if you don’t get the help you need.

Of course, through the process of time, things seem to get better. My point is that without dealing with the real problems, you will never heal fully and you will be more susceptible to pain and suffering in the future. Going through a divorce is already painful enough. Do what it takes now to make it better later.

It is so great to see people, even after only a few weeks of surrendering to the process and getting real help, experiencing real change that can be seen by those around them. They may not see or feel it, but others can. We are usually the last ones to see and feel the change in ourselves that others see in us.

The process of time will bring forth the healing, as you are faithful to do what it takes to attain healing and wholeness through the One who is the only one that can repair a broken heart. His name is Doctor Jesus, and He knows how to fix your heart.

My heart is healed and whole. It doesn’t hurt anymore.

But I still have a scar. And I am fine with that.

A free devotional called “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” is available to all my readers here.

You can order you own copy of the book, “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” from Amazon here.

I Have A Heavy Heart

"Nine Minutes After Sundown." Photo from 1,500' over Decatur Island, looking to the Southwest, Lopez Island, and the Olympic Peninsula. Photo by Jeffery A. Lustick

I have such a heavy heart right now.

You think that after almost 14 years after my second divorce that I would finally have the healing and wholeness that God wants me to have. You would think that I would have changed and grown in every part of my life to the point that divorce and all the pain and hurt that comes from it could not or should not affect me any more.

Well,…………I was wrong!! 😦

 

God has brought me total and complete healing in virtually every part of my whole being. Actually to be honest, I AM completely healed from all that happened to me. But, God saw fit to leave a deposit behind in me. And I am not sure if I am up for the task.

I am sitting here in tears as I am trying everything I can to help a good friend and brother in Christ deal with all he is going through.  I just want to give him a hug. One of those, “It gets better” or “I know because I have been there” kind of hugs. But I can’t.

I pray and pray and pray for God to reveal Himself to my friend and show him that he is loved, by the only One who IS love!!!

I ask God to give me the words to speak life to him. How can a mere mortal, as well-meaning and experienced as I am, compare to what he really needs? He needs a healed heart. A healed soul. Real hope.

What I just realized is that divorce has changed me forever.

God left me with a scarred heart. It is fully healed, but it shows the wounds and the proof of prior battles.

God left me with a tender heart. It is sensitive to the touch for those dealing with divorce. It hurts when they hurt; it bleeds when they bleed.

God has left me with a hopeful heart. It is praying that the only true hope called Jesus Christ can reach you, me, and all those needing hope.

God has left me with a joyful heart. It is thankful for all that He has done in my life; the healing that only God can give and the wholeness that lets me carry on for one more day, living a life of purpose.

God has left me with a heart…………for you.

Pray for my friend as I pray for all of you.

A free devotional called “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” is available to all my readers here.

You can order you own copy of the book, “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” from Amazon here.

Revelations

ig-1

This is an excerpt of the book just released called “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” and it was an amazing revelation for me.

You will figure out that you will learn things through your divorce that you mat have heard, but never really understood until now. These revelations can be so eye-opening that it will change your life forever.

As parents, you get the revelation that having kids is TOTALLY different that being around them or babysitting for a friend. You are never ready for it and it is an ongoing learning process that never stops.

As a father and husband, I learn things almost every day about my wife, our children, and their lives that can only be understood after going through them. Looking back, I start to truly understand them as the individuals God made them to be and how my life must adapt daily to make them the wife, son, daughter, and family He has blessed me to be a part of on this earth.

In the excerpt above, i talk about the simple fact that you can be surrounded by people, but feel so alone. The reason that you feel like that is because you are not connected to them the way you need to be connected to them.

You may have great relationships with many people, but if you are not feeling truly connected in a mutually beneficial life-giving relationship, you are not in the kind of relationship that fulfills what your spirit needs.

Take time to be more transparent, more open to those that you trust. Invite them into your world in a deeper way. You will find that the real life in a relationship that changes you and brings forth healing and wholeness is waiting for you to connect on a new level, one that can trust again.

Take a few minutes to consider all the revelations you have come to learn about yourself and those around you, especially since any tragic event. Some will make you angry, some will make you depressed. Yet again, many will show you that there are things you needed to work on in your life in order to become a better person in many areas of your life.

This is not to make it seem like all the problems are/were with you. It is just getting you to see that there is more potential and growth because of what happened. Don’t waste this chance to see all that will cause you to become more than you have ever been.

It is there. You just need to recognize it, learn from it, and growth through it. You can do it.

What revelations good and/or bad have made you a better person. I would love to here your thoughts.

Be blessed!!

A free devotional called “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” is available to all my readers here.

You can order you own copy of the book, “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” from Amazon here.

 

 

The Book is HERE!!

Book Proof

You can now get your own copy of “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness“!!

Grab yours at Amazon here!!

Thanks everyone for all the kind words and encouragement that helped me to strive and bring forth what God has been wanting me to do for so long.

If you would like to check it out for free, head over to the YouVersion Bible App and see if you would like it. A majority of the book’s content is the same (31 Days), except for the introduction which has my story as well as a list of additional resources I recommend.

Remember, this makes a great resource that you can also give to a friend or family member that may need some encouragement as well.

As of this post at the beginning of Sept 2016, I will be holding a contest on both Twitter and Facebook, if you would like to win a free copy. Head over and join our community there.

Be blessed!!

 

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