Tag: resources

Holiday Divorce Resources

For so many people, this time of the year is not the most joyous. It brings back memories of bitter times and causes them to dwell on the past and current pain in their lives.

Sometimes, it is just too much.

Please, don’t just click and move on from this post or scroll too quickly. Take just 5 minutes to give yourself a real chance to get some help for how you may be feeling.

I want you to know, PERSONALLY, that you are loved and there are people that honestly and truly will be there for you. If you don’t know who that is in your life right now, take a few minutes to consider anyone and everyone who has told you this; “If you need anything, be sure to let me know”. If they truly meant it, reach out to them. Tell them you need someone to help you, even if you just need them to listen to you dump.

I want you to know, PERSONALLY, that God loves you with an everlasting love. He doesn’t care where you are right now or what you think about your situation. He just wants to love you. Take a few minutes to just tell him anything you want.

Don’t worry. You won’t hurt His feelings. He will listen. He just wants you to be real, raw, and fully honest with Him, no matter what.

Say it out loud. Talk to Him verbally, just like you would if someone is physically standing in the room with you. Yell. Scream. Cry. Blame. Just let it out. Don’t stop until you get it all out.

You may be saying, “I thought this would give me a list of places and organizations where I could reach out for help.”

I just did. Real people that love you no matter what and a God that loves you no matter what will do far more for you in the long run than a phone number or a website. These may help jump start your healing process, yet they will only go so far.

Don’t worry. I will have a few at the end of this post.

Nothing helped me more than having a cryfest with my lead and associate pastors at my local church to start my healing process. Getting to sit with my brother on the steps to his house just pouring my heart out to him allowed me to keep moving forward a little bit at a time. Talking to a friend who just allowed me to bend his ear whenever I felt like it, did wonders for my soul.

Don’t miss out on these resources. Years down the road, you will see the immense value of these friendships and relationships for what they are; human resources for the soul.

Did I have thoughts of suicide when I was at my weakest points? Yes. Was I ever serious about them? No.

Most people experience the same thing, but you soon realize that there are more than just a few people that will forever be devastated by losing you.

If you are seriously considering suicide, please stop and contact someone immediately.

In the US, contact 911 or 1-800-273-8255. You should only be on hold a minute, but someone will be ready to talk to you as soon as possible.

If you are not in the US, here is a link to international phone numbers that you can call right now.

If you would prefer to chat with someone via chat, visit ChatNow or Anthem of Hope. Both of these can help with many different issues. They are free and totally anonymous.

If you are in need of fully Christian and fully clinical professional in-person mental health needs, visit this link to Honey Lake Clinic. It is the #1 Christian mental health clinic in the US!! If you need real help with Christian and medical professionals working together, I would seek them out.

For those that need to find a local church where they can connect with people near them so they can develop new and life-giving relationships, consider this website from the Association of Related Churches. ARC is a Christian organization that is non-denominational that works together as a group to help grow life-changing and life-giving churches is over 600 communities all over the US and even some overseas.

There are numerous Christian reading plans available at Bible.com. There are too many subjects and plans to even try to tell you about them. Just take a look. They are free resources and I highly recommend the YouVersion app for your mobile device to make it easier to read.

If you are interested in the two reading plans I have there, check out the links below:

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness — http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
Divorce to Healing: Survive and Thrive —  http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

In the event you just want to share your story or a comment to this post, feel free to share it below. I do my best to respond to each and every comment. I would love to know what is on your heart and mind during this time of year or any time.

Reach out if you need help.

You are loved. You are special. You were fearfully and wonderfully created God.

Be blessed!!

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Divorce and Remarriage Resources

I am sure many of you have questions on what the bible says about divorce and remarriage. So many people have heard bits and pieces of verses, taken verses out of context, or just try to make God’s word fit to justify a decision.

Below I would like to share some resources I have reviewed recently. I will share a little at the end of my opinion on the material and the sources.

Here is a podcast from Dr Michael Heiser, PHD titled “The Naked Bible Podcast“.  He is considered one of the top, if not the top, biblical scholars in the world today.

The two episodes I reviewed were:

#316: Divorce and Remarriage in the Old Testament

and

#318: Divorce and Remarriage in the New Testament

Both of these podcast episodes have just recently been released near the end of March 2020.

These episodes do dig deep into the Greek & Hebrew texts and they are on the academic side. For some they may seem rather scholarly, but follow along with the verses shared in your bible to help bring God’s word to life through this study.

Two books that the guest (Rev Dr David Instone-Brewer) referred to:

Marriage and Divorce in the Bible by Jay E Adams

and

Marriage and Divorce in the Church by Jay E Adams.

Dr Instone-Brewer has also created a website called Divorce-Remarriage.com that provides a lot more to consider on this topic. I have not researched the whole website, but the quick summary of the two books mentioned above is posted below and can be of great value:

(from Divorce-Remarriage.com)

The conclusions:

  • The Bible’s message for those suffering within marriage is both realistic and loving
  • Marriage should be lifelong, but broken marriage vows can be grounds for divorce
  • Biblical grounds for divorce include adultery, abuse and abandonment
  • Jesus urged forgiveness but allowed divorce for repeated unrepentant breaking of marriage vows
  • Only the victim, not the perpetrator of such sins, should decide when or whether to divorce
  • Anyone who divorces on biblical grounds or who is divorced against their will can remarry.

Very quick summary:

This book interprets the words of Jesus and Paul through the eyes of first century readers who knew about the ‘Any Cause’ divorce which Jesus was asked about (“Is it lawful to divorce for ‘Any Cause’” – Mt.19.3). Christians in following generations forgot about the ‘Any Cause’ divorce and misunderstood Jesus.

The ‘Any Cause’ divorce was invented by some Pharisees who divided up the phrase “a cause of indecency” (Dt.24.1) into two grounds for divorce: “indecency” (porneia which they interpreted as ‘Adultery’) and “a cause” (ie ‘Any Cause’). Jesus said the phrase could not be split up and that it meant “nothing except porneia“. Although almost everyone was using this new type of divorce, Jesus told them that it was invalid, so remarriage was adulterous because they were still married.

The Old Testament allowed divorce for the breaking of marriage vows, including neglect and abuse, based on Exod.21.10f. Jesus was not asked about these biblical grounds for divorce, though Paul alluded to them in 1Cor.7 as the basis of marriage obligations. This book argues that God never repealed these biblical grounds for divorce based on broken marriage vows. They were exemplified by Christ (according to Eph.5.28f) and they became the basis of Christian marriage vows (love, honour, and keep).

Of course, I highly suggest that you counsel with your pastor or care ministry that can give you additional help and direction in this difficult time. Don’t take this as any final answer. God will give you His wisdom as you seek it with those around you that will lead you to God and His word on the subject.

When all is said and done, you and you alone will be held accountable for your decisions and actions surrounding divorce and remarriage. This is just a good starting point to help you as you seek God and His face on your next step.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

 

 

 

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