The more I think about the topic of leaning and after studying a little of the history of the amazing Leaning Tower of Pisa (page here), it just gives me more and more to talk about.
When I think about divorce and what it takes to recover, it seems like the various stages have different postures. In the beginning, you feel like you are knocked down and laying on the floor. As you try to stand up, you get to your knees and wobble while falling back to the ground. As you start to get up, you are unstable and more than anything, you need something to steady you. It is now when leaning comes into focus.
We don’t give it much thought, but the act of leaning is actually a proof of trust being reestablished in your life. You are reaching out for help and accepting it. You are looking for stability and when you find something worthy, you will lean on it.
Have you ever thought of what you are leaning on? What characteristics does it have and why do you trust it?
Some things you lean on cannot handle the weight you are putting on it. Some things are not meant to be leaned upon. Some things do not have a foundation that allows it to be stable when you try to lean against it.
In the story about the history of the Leaning Tower, it is interesting that they make the statement that it was only one human mistake that caused an ongoing and permanent condition. It talks about how the foundation was only 3 (yes, only 3) feet deep and built upon a plot of land that had weak clay. As the weight of the building over time exposed the problem, it caused many issues and numerous delays in the completion of the tower as well as the use for the tower. Everything was different, because of just one major human mistake.
Now, if we are honest, in marriage there is more than just one major mistake that leads to divorce. It is truer that it is the combination of many smaller issues and than one large one that breaks the camel’s back. It doesn’t take away from the severity or importance of the one big human mistake, but it may be the weight that caused the foundation of your marriage to be altered forever.
If you are going to trust or lean on something, it needs to have a foundation that can handle that burden or weight you need to put on it. It needs to be stable and fully capable to help you as you lean on it to learn to stand on your own.
Until I fully had nothing else to lean on and realized that Jesus was the only One that could handle all of the weight and pain I had, I was trying to steady myself. It didn’t work. I was like a 1-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. On a good day I was ineffective, unable to get stable, and always on the ground feeling defeated. I know, I was there.
People can act like they are wise enough to lean on, but only those grounded and stable themselves can offer any stability to you. Even that is not enough for long term stability. I choose to trust God and let everything add to what He can give me in moving forward.
Another interesting thought is how after realizing the architect for the Leaning Tower made a huge mistake, it took a hundred years before they even started to complete the tower. At the time, they thought they could correct things and made adjustments, but to no avail. They did not address the foundation.
Are you sensing a point here?
You are only as solid as your foundation. What is your foundation and is it solid? Can it hold the weight you are bearing and needing help holding up? A foundation without Jesus is only a stone tower built on clay.
In time, the Leaning Tower was finally stabilized and now safe enough to climb and be next to it without the chance of it collapsing. It still leans (consequences of mistakes made), but it is now considered a World Heritage Site and one of the most treasured buildings in the world.
You can have that kind of foundation and be a wonder to those around you. Get your foundation right and lean on it as you grow stronger.
Be blessed!!
Divorce to Healing 