Tag: devotional

The Reflection

reflection

The new year always lends itself to reflection. Thinking of the past. Good and bad. Accomplishments and missed expectations. Successes and failures.

This year has been a sincere blessing for me in many ways, while also revealing my short comings.

Divorce to Healing has seen tremendous growth in exposure, readership, and engagement. It has also made me wonder where we fell short helping people.

On April 12th, the Divorce to Healing Reading Plan on the YouVersion Bible App was released. In less than 8 months, over 13,300 people engaged by downloading a free copy to a phone or other device. And thus began a seed of healing.

As of Dec 31st, over 4,800 people had completed all 31 days of the Reading Plan. And thus began the next steps in continued healing.

On August 31st, a paperback version of the Reading Plan with additional resources was released on Amazon. 16 copies were sold, 3 of which I bought and sent to my family. And even more people took a step towards wholeness.

On this blog, over 3000 views from over 1000 different people in 49 different countries were seeking wisdom, encouragement, and understanding to help them make sense of this thing we call divorce.

And yet, I wonder……

Did they all know that they have been prayed for daily? Have they allowed God to do the healing work in their hearts, minds, and souls that bring the only kind of peace that satisfies? Will they continue to reach out to their family, friends, counselors, pastors, and others for the help they still need? Have we helped in any small way?

Who is that next person that God wants to touch today? What is holding some people back? How can I be of greater service to my fellow man, struggling through the same pain and hurt I experienced?

As we continue down this path together, I want to thank you for letting God do His perfect work in you. I will be here with you and want you to know, you are not alone. There are many people that desire exactly what you do — healing & wholeness.

Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
We are here for you.
Be blessed!!
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Amazing News!!!

Thank to all you you in the Divorce to Healing community!! I am blown away by how many of you have downloaded and completed the YouVersion Reading Plan. Thank you for giving God room to heal you and bring you closer to wholeness.

Feel free to share your comments below.

If you have not yet gone through the reading plan and want to, here is the link: http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/2440-divorce-to-healing-31-wholeness

If you want to connect via Facebook, join us:                                                       http://www.facebook.com/divorcetohealing

If you would like a copy of the book, it is available on Amazon:           http://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Healing-31-Days-Wholeness/dp/1530366364

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Revelations

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This is an excerpt of the book just released called “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” and it was an amazing revelation for me.

You will figure out that you will learn things through your divorce that you mat have heard, but never really understood until now. These revelations can be so eye-opening that it will change your life forever.

As parents, you get the revelation that having kids is TOTALLY different that being around them or babysitting for a friend. You are never ready for it and it is an ongoing learning process that never stops.

As a father and husband, I learn things almost every day about my wife, our children, and their lives that can only be understood after going through them. Looking back, I start to truly understand them as the individuals God made them to be and how my life must adapt daily to make them the wife, son, daughter, and family He has blessed me to be a part of on this earth.

In the excerpt above, i talk about the simple fact that you can be surrounded by people, but feel so alone. The reason that you feel like that is because you are not connected to them the way you need to be connected to them.

You may have great relationships with many people, but if you are not feeling truly connected in a mutually beneficial life-giving relationship, you are not in the kind of relationship that fulfills what your spirit needs.

Take time to be more transparent, more open to those that you trust. Invite them into your world in a deeper way. You will find that the real life in a relationship that changes you and brings forth healing and wholeness is waiting for you to connect on a new level, one that can trust again.

Take a few minutes to consider all the revelations you have come to learn about yourself and those around you, especially since any tragic event. Some will make you angry, some will make you depressed. Yet again, many will show you that there are things you needed to work on in your life in order to become a better person in many areas of your life.

This is not to make it seem like all the problems are/were with you. It is just getting you to see that there is more potential and growth because of what happened. Don’t waste this chance to see all that will cause you to become more than you have ever been.

It is there. You just need to recognize it, learn from it, and growth through it. You can do it.

What revelations good and/or bad have made you a better person. I would love to here your thoughts.

Be blessed!!

A free devotional called “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” is available to all my readers here.

You can order you own copy of the book, “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” from Amazon here.

 

 

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Leaning

Leaning

 

The more I think about the topic of leaning and after studying a little of the history of the amazing Leaning Tower of Pisa (page here), it just gives me more and more to talk about.

When I think about divorce and what it takes to recover, it seems like the various stages have different postures. In the beginning, you feel like you are knocked down and laying on the floor. As you try to stand up, you get to your knees and wobble while falling back to the ground. As you start to get up, you are unstable and more than anything, you need something to steady you. It is now when leaning comes into focus.

We don’t give it much thought, but the act of leaning is actually a proof of trust being reestablished in your life. You are reaching out for help and accepting it. You are looking for stability and when you find something worthy, you will lean on it.

Have you ever thought of what you are leaning on? What characteristics does it have and why do you trust it?

Some things you lean on cannot handle the weight you are putting on it. Some things are not meant to be leaned upon. Some things do not have a foundation that allows it to be stable when you try to lean against it.

In the story about the history of the Leaning Tower, it is interesting that they make the statement that it was only one human mistake that caused an ongoing and permanent condition. It talks about how the foundation was only 3 (yes, only 3) feet deep and built upon a plot of land that had weak clay. As the weight of the building over time exposed the problem, it caused many issues and numerous delays in the completion of the tower as well as the use for the tower. Everything was different, because of just one major human mistake.

Now, if we are honest, in marriage there is more than just one major mistake that leads to divorce. It is truer that it is the combination of many smaller issues and than one large one that breaks the camel’s back. It doesn’t take away from the severity or importance of the one big human mistake, but it may be the weight that caused the foundation of your marriage to be altered forever.

If you are going to trust or lean on something, it needs to have a foundation that can handle that burden or weight you need to put on it. It needs to be stable and fully capable to help you as you lean on it to learn to stand on your own.

Until I fully had nothing else to lean on and realized that Jesus was the only One that could handle all of the weight and pain I had, I was trying to steady myself. It didn’t work. I was like a 1-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. On a good day I was ineffective, unable to get stable, and always on the ground feeling defeated. I know, I was there.

People can act like they are wise enough to lean on, but only those grounded and stable themselves can offer any stability to you. Even that is not enough for long term stability. I choose to trust God and let everything add to what He can give me in moving forward.

Another interesting thought is how after realizing the architect for the Leaning Tower made a huge mistake, it took a hundred years before they even started to complete the tower. At the time, they thought they could correct things and made adjustments, but to no avail. They did not address the foundation.

Are you sensing a point here?

You are only as solid as your foundation. What is your foundation and is it solid? Can it hold the weight you are bearing and needing help holding up? A foundation without Jesus is only a stone tower built on clay.

In time, the Leaning Tower was finally stabilized and now safe enough to climb and be next to it without the chance of it collapsing. It still leans (consequences of mistakes made), but it is now considered a World Heritage Site and one of the most treasured buildings in the world.

You can have that kind of foundation and be a wonder to those around you. Get your foundation right and lean on it as you grow stronger.

A free devotional called “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” is available to all my readers here.

Be blessed!!

 

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I Am Humbled

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I just found out today that in less than 2 months since the release, over 2000 people have downloaded the free Reading Plan from the YouVersion Bibile app and over 350 have already completed the full 31 days. WOW!!

The reason I wanted to share this with you is to show you that by letting God use your past to heal your present, He will give you a future you could never imagine.

In those moments that seemed like ages when I could hardly see beyond the day, my future was not even close to being a thought. The only future I was worried about was if I could make it to tomorrow.

When I felt so strongly that God wanted me to step out on this project, I did everything I could to try to explain it away or not to do it. God had other plans.

The plan was YOU!!!

For the ones that needed a word of encouragement. For the ones that needed wisdom to make the tough choices. For the ones that needed hope for tomorrow. God made me realize that you needed what He wanted to speak through me to you.

So today I just wanted to be excited for you, the ones who have joined us on this journey. I also want to ask you to join us if you haven’t yet. The link to the free reading plan is below. We would be so honored to have you join the Divorce to Healing family.

I would also love to hear your thoughts, comments, and questions about the plan or just anything that you want to share about the blog or how anything you care to say. Just let me know. I would love your thoughts.

And remember, you never know how your awesome your tomorrow can be if you don’t heal from your past today.

The direct link to the FREE Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness is here!!

Be blessed!!

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Divorce Is Not A Marriage Mulligan

Mulligan

 

For all the golfers out there, you know what a mulligan is. For those unaware of what a mulligan is, I will describe it in one word: Do-over.

A mulligan in golf is when you are given another shot to make up for the one you just hit into the water or shanked into the woods. I should know because I have used them many times. Thankfully, I was not trying to qualify for the US Open or a local tournament. Maybe after not golfing for a few years, my “skill” of hitting it right in the wrong spot has fixed itself. (I highly doubt it!!)

In a regular round of golf, you will tee off 18 times. If you walk up to the first tee and proceed to knock the ball straight down the fairway, you expect the round to go pretty good. It is like waking up in the morning and it’s all sunshine and rainbows. If you walk up to the first tee and smash it 300 yards, but 150 yards to the right into the trees, Lord have mercy!! (Can I just take a mulligan?)

In all of my years helping people with relationships and the issues pertaining to divorce, I hear the terms “Starter Marriage” and “Practice Relationship”. Sorry folks, but it doesn’t work that way. Unlike in sports, you must make the best with what you have. Play it where it lies.

Hitting a horrible shot off the first tee or chunking a wedge that ends up blowing your ball over the green into the water is a lot like the tragedy of a divorce. It causes words to be blurted out that should never be said. Destruction to the offending club could rend it useless and only worth the trash can when you get back to the clubhouse. If you can’t find the ball or lost it in the lake, now you are out the money for the ball too, along with additional stokes as a penalty, unless you take a mulligan.

But if you care about the spirit of the sport of golf, the role honesty and playing by the rules plays, you will record the appropriate score and move on. It is about doing what is right and taking the high road. Accepting the consequences. Moving forward.

This message could be applied in two ways:

1) If you are married (and possibly contemplating separation or divorce), realize it is just a bump in the road and you can recover. Many times, golfers overcome a bad shot or even a series of shots to win the tournament. It is fortitude and determination that helps you to be better on the rest of this round and to finish out the tournament strong. It is never over until the last stroke. You may just be surprised how well the rest of it turns out.

2) If the duff or shank is what has happened to you and divorce is now the course you are on, see the rest of the tournament as the rest of your life. You still have a lot of game to play. You may pull up to a par 3 and hit a hole-in-one!! Don’t just take a mulligan. Use this as a learning process to gather yourself for the next hole and rounds of your life.

As a Christian, you can have Jesus as your caddie. He can warn you of the hazards and keep you from straying off course. He can tell you how the greens lean and what will cause your ball (life) to move side to side. He will tell you when to swing with all your might and when to lay up a little. Best caddie you will ever consider having, too!!

Sometimes, people make too much or too little of divorce. They want you to just get over it and start over or take a mulligan.

Take it from me–Let Jesus carry your bag (burdens) and guide you through the Masters golf tournament called life. Let the Master be your caddie!!

Click here to access a FREE 31 Day devotional called Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness as featured on the YouVersion Bible App.

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Divorce to Healing devotional coming soon!!

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Looking forward to finishing this up and publishing in the very near future. There is also a possibility that we will be involved with other projects that will be very exciting. Looking forward to what God wants to do with this project. Make sure you follow us here and on our Facebook and Twitter pages as well so you won’t miss out on all the news. Thanks and be blessed!!

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New Devotional from Divorce to Healing (coming soon)

Devo

 

I am in the process of putting together a 31 Day Devotional around healing from divorce.

If you are interested in helping me to choose the 31 topics out of the 50 currently being considered or just would like to connect with others going through the healing process too, feel free to join the Divorce to Healing community here.

If you are in your own healing process, feel free to see the previous posts here on this blog.

If you know someone that needs encouragement and could benefit from the information here, feel free to share this blog and the Divorce to Healing Facebook Page so they can join our healing community.

Thanks everyone and be on the lookout for more soon!!

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