Tag: devotion

A Broken-Hearted Christmas

Today may not be like the Christmas of your youth, a Christmas morning full of joy and wonder anticipating the gift you so desired.

This may be your first Christmas since your divorce was finalized or your spouse left you.

Take heart. Know that you are not alone even if you have to spend your Christmas Day by yourself.

Jesus came to earth to connect Heaven to Earth through His Son, Jesus.

On Christmas Day, the world celebrates the birth of Jesus, our Savior. He came for you and for your broken heart.

You may not be able to be with your children today. You may not have that old-fashioned family meal where your crazy uncle gets tipsy and causes more family drama. You may not be able to have that special someone to share this day with beside you enjoying opening presents and seeing the smiles and hearing the laughs.

But Jesus is with you right now. If you are a Christian, He lives inside of you. Even if you are not a Christian, He is near, waiting to embrace you. He loves you with an everlasting love that can never by compared with the earthly love we receive from our family and friends. It is beyond description and He wants to hold you and mend your broken heart.

This year, I have been enjoying Christmas music since Thanksgiving (I usually wait until at LEAST Dec 15th) and I wanted to share this song with you.

It is called “Somewhere in Your Silent Night”. It shares what I believe so many people that are divorced, going through separation, or have lost loved ones and are experiencing this Christmas without that special person.

I wanted to share the song with you. I will share the lyric video along with the lyrics. It will minister to you if you take a few minutes to allow God to speak with you through it and to help you know that He is with you.

May this Christmas Day be one of blessing, peace, joy, love, and grace. May you know Jesus, the Savior and the Child of God sent for you and to you. Yes, you!! Emmanuel is here!!

He will give you a special gift today. Spend a few minutes or more with the One who created the universe yet love you so much to send His Son, Jesus, to be here with you every second of every day.

Be Blessed!!

“Somewhere in Your Silent Night” by Casting Crowns

[Verse 1]
All is calm and all is bright
Everywhere but in your heart tonight
They’re singing carols of joy and peace
But you feel too far gone and too far out of reach

[Chorus]
Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night

[Verse 2]
From Heaven’s height to manger low
There is no distance the Prince of Peace won’t go
From manger low to Calvary’s hill
When your pain runs deep, His love runs deeper still
He has always loved you, child
And He always will

[Chorus]
Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night

[Bridge]
Lift your head, lift your heart
Emmanuel will meet you where you are
He knows your hurt, He knows your name
And you’re the very reason that He came

[Chorus]
Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night…

[Outro]
Love will find you
Love will find you
Love will find you

Be blessed!!

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Broken Road

“I will walk by faith even when I cannot see because this broken road prepares Your will for me” ~ Jeremy Camp from the song Walk by Faith on the 2002 album Stay.

If I told you this song has ministered to me in difficult times over the last 20+ years, it would be a severe understatement. After many years, I ran across it again buried deep in my iTunes library. It spoke even more to me after looking back to see the broken road Jesus led me down so long ago.

You may have just started the journey down your broken road recently. Some of you may have been on it for so many miles you wonder if you will ever see the end of it.

If you drive long enough, you run into a detour. Hopefully, you see the signs before you crash through the barricades meant to keep you from plunging over the edge where the bridge is out. The bridge (marriage) collapsed. It is no longer there. Now what?

The barricades protected you from plunging off the cliff head first towards the rocks. Now you see there is only one way to go. The road doesn’t look like one you want to travel on, but it is the only way to continue on your journey.

After realizing there is no way you can move forward at this location you see something…. a detour sign.

We can sit and stare at the fallen bridge or we can take the detour that has been provided. Someone had to have placed the signs out to guide you around the disaster that you see.

As you pray the car (life) you are driving will make it, you start to wonder —

How do I move forward? How long is this road? Will I ever get where I am going? Will I run out of gas? Will there be a place along the road to use the restroom, refuel, and get something to eat and rest? Is it safe? Why am I on this roadway? Am I really supposed to be going this direction? Should I go back? Is the map wrong?

Since you have no other option now, you need to trust the signs provided to get you where you need to go. You need to have faith in the sign placer. The signs are there to lead you and guide you.

Some roads look fine when you start down them but may eventually turn into a narrow one lane road full of potholes, carcasses of roadkill along the edge of the ditch, and just no end in sight. I have been on that road. Twice.

You might be tempted to go off-roading, looking for a short cut. Trust me. You will only get lost and run out of gas. Ask the Israelites if walking around the same mountain for 40 years was the plan. It wasn’t. The plan is to trust in God’s road, even with all the potholes and difficulties.

You will find places along the way that will refresh and renew you, but they may not be your 5-star all-inclusive resort you want. It may be a station called “Gas”. It might be an 8 room drive-up motel that only takes cash and has a clerk sleeping with his head down on the front desk with a gumball machine that hasn’t been refilled in years.

As you get back on the road, you are hoping over the next hill the road improves and you get to your destination. You crest the hill and you might see that the road has turned into a gravel road. How can it get worse? It is supposed to get better.

But you see another sign that says “Detour” with an arrow pointing straight ahead. Will you trust who put out the detour sign? Will you believe someone knows which way you need to go, even if you can’t see it?

Faith is what will fuel your car (life). Faith in the one who knows the way and placed the sign will give you what you need to keep moving forward.

You may drive by others stopped along the roadside. You may have people stop you and tell you that you can’t make it or to take a different route.

The One you need to believe and listen to is the One who has already laid out the path. God knows the end from the beginning. He is waiting for you to let Him be your GPS, God Perfect Sign!! He placed the signs to show you the way!!

Along your broken road you will see others on the road with you. They may try to keep you from getting to your destination. There might also be folks needing encouragement like you. Don’t get distracted by the wrong people. Be willing to share your broken road story with those who would benefit from what you have experienced. Maybe helping someone fix a flat will lead to a life long friendship.

2 Corinthians 5:7 English Standard Version

7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Galatians 2:20 English Standard Version

20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

We are meant to go down our broken road with Jesus, guiding us to stay on the detour route. He placed the signs. He knows the way. He IS the Way!!

Stay on the road, moving forward in faith. Believe the one who knows the final destination.

You will make it if you don’t turn back or stop. Your speed may slow to a snail’s crawl at times, but you’ll get there. You will make it!!

As I wrap up this post, I have had “Walk by Faith” playing non-stop. I has encouraged me to encourage you. I know the peace, joy, blessings, and life He has guided me to, but it all started with my own broken road journey. Without Jesus and letting Him carry me, I would have pulled into a ditch and stayed there. I am so glad I didn’t.

God has something amazing for you. I can’t wait for you to get there.

If you want watch a video of “Walk by Faith” rereleased in 2020, here it is.

The 2020 movie “I Still Believe” is the story of Jeremy Camp’s own broken road. His fiancee found out that she had ovarian cancer before they were married. I saw it in the theater, but you should be able to stream it on Amazon, Netflix, or one of the other streaming services. It will show you that God is waiting to greet you at the end of your broken road.

Be blessed!!

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The Right Plan

Today is January 1st.

With the start of a new year, people set goals and make plans for the next year. They may also reflect and review the past year to celebrate wins and learn from the losses.

When it comes to marriage, I believe people have hope and dreams for an amazing life-long relationship that brings joy, excitement, and togetherness. A man and a woman will stand before their family and friends or maybe a justice of the peace to make promises that they are ill prepared to keep within divine intervention.

We may try to make plans on how our lives will come together and grow, but it seems like virtually every marriage is fighting an uphill battle against attacks from the culture, situations, and selfishness of this world.

I don’t remember sitting down with my soon to be wife to hash out how we are going to handle our first fight, how we are going to react when a close friend hurts us, or the fender bender on the new car we financed for 6 years.

Planning is essential for growth. Change happens whether we are ready or not. Growth is change within the boundaries and nourishment of wisdom and time.

If you are reading this blog, the plans you had for your marriage did not produce the results you desired. It could be for a myriad of reasons. The reasons for your divorce or separation are not as important as what your next steps will be. You need a new plan.

The Right Plan.

Do you remember the story of David and Bathsheba?

In 2 Samuel 11, we read about the moral failure of David that led him to adultery and murder. He had a plan to make Bathsheba his wife after he had already gotten her pregnant, but this was far from the right plan.

David murdered Uriah by making a plan for him to be killed on the battlefield so that he could take Bathsheba as his wife and cover up what he had done. The consequences of his plan were a child who was born sick and died 7 days later, even after fasting and praying to God.

David looked away from God and towards the things of this world. His plans was not the right plan.

Because of his disobedience to God and wanting to fulfill his worldly desires, his life and history was changed. David lost a child, murdered a faithful warrior, and was not allowed to build the temple.

Before David was his father Saul, the first king of Israel. Did you know that God didn’t want Israel to have a king? (Samuel 8)

Samuel the prophet appointed his sons as judges for the people of Israel. The sons did not walk in God’s way so the elders of Israel wanted Samuel to anoint a king to lead the nation.

Samuel prayed to God and God told Samuel that the people did not reject him, they rejected God so give them what they want. The elder’s plan was to have a king for the nation like all the other nations.

Samuel told the elders all of the ways a king would enslave and oppress them. The following verse shook me when I read it:

1 Samuel 8:18

18 And in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”

Could the plans of mankind hinder God from answered prayer?

Could you be doing everything right in the sight of the Lord and still find yourself waiting for an answer from God? Sure. God has His ways and His timing. Your prayers are many times answered not in the way you expected or in the time you hoped.

Sometimes all it seems like I do is pray for things and people (healing, peace, provision, etc). Maybe God just wants me to go deeper and listen to Him instead of trying to fill the time with requests.

He already knows what we need. He wants to spend time with you and to speak hope into your life. Give Him more opportunity to respond as you grow in your relationship with Him.

God wants His best for us, but not at the expense of our free will. He gives us the opportunity to live this life blessed as we sacrifice our lives to follow Jesus and the leading of the Holy Spirit. He gave us the free will to make plans, and the best plans are those that bring God glory.

Let’s take a moment and evaluate our plans. Do we have any plans or are we just letting life carry us along?

What is the Right Plan?

Is Jesus in the forefront of your plan? Have you given your wants, needs, desires, feelings, thoughts, and urges to Him? Have you taken time to let Him speak to you and not just toss requests up to Heaven?

How do you know you have the Right Plan?

Does it glorify God? Does it help others? Does it lead you closer to Jesus? Does it bring you peace? Does it make this world better? Does it provide growth in your relationships, especially with God?

If you have read this far on this post, you will see that our faith must be open to not knowing the answer. Faith that you are on the right path with the Right Plan takes letting go and letting God lead. He will give you His plan, if you ask for it. Be patient and obedient to fully grasp all that God is doing through that plan.

Proverbs 16:9

9 The heart of man plans his way,
    but the Lord establishes his steps.

You will get the Right Plan. Trust God and let Him lead you.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Be blessed!!

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Does Anyone Care?

I get ultra-sensitive at this time of year. Christmas and New Years is a time for family, friends, and fun. But so many times when you are experiencing divorce or the aftermath, you may wonder if anyone cares about you.

I do.

I remember living in a town I moved to for work. I had been divorced and started my life over with a great career opportunity that God led me to over a couple of years. I got plugged into a wonderful church family and meet so many nice people.

I remember meeting, marrying, and ultimately divorced again to my second wife. I was crushed. The only family I had close by was a great friend I made that allowed me to roommate with him as I tried to recover.

Maybe you can relate a little to my story. Feeling alone around your church family, work colleagues, and people you always see at the local grocery store.

You may be around people a large portion of the day, but you still feel it: loneliness, guilt, shame, hopelessness, pain, heartache, and any number of other honest human emotions and feelings.

My answer to the question “Does Anyone Care?” is YES!!!

Start with your immediate family. You have parents, children, siblings, or relatives that may or may not be next to you right now, but someone in those groups cares. You may not realize it, but many care about you. It may not be great with them at the moment, but if push comes to shove, someone will admit they care, and probably more than you would ever know.

What about your work, church, or social groups? If you have a pastor or church leaders, God has given them a spirit to care. They will not be perfect, but they would not be in that role if they do not at least care.

Why do you think bars, drug dens, and other places I do not recommend seem to gather people, even for the wrong reasons? People are looking for someone to listen and care.

I CARE!! GOD CARES!!!

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34.17-18

If you are sitting by yourself in a home, apartment, car, or jail cell reading this and feel like nobody cares, just know that God cares and I care about you. If you know nobody that cares, know that we do.

How can I say that I care for you when we have never met, talked, or may never interact in any way together? Because when I was in my place similar to where you are at, God told me that He cares and someone else cares too. And He was right.

I had my brother and his family in my first divorce. They lived about 3 houses down from my apartment in a small house with my 2 little (at that time) nephews. I let them just allow me to hang around and be a part of their lives, never judging or pushing me. The gave me the opportunity to heal while showing me they cared.

I had a best friend who, on the first day I met him, he had just had his fiancée break off their engagement. I had no idea how God would lead me to a guy I never knew the first day I went to a new church, be able to encourage him in his darkest time, only for him to be able to repay kindness to me when I was separated and eventually divorced again. He cared.

At my lowest moment, I realized the ONLY one who would never leave me nor forsake me would be Jesus. He cared so much for me that He died for me. I knew no matter what, Jesus and I were moving on. He would be there for me no matter what!!!

If you are alone, tired, afraid, desperate, anxious, or flat out hopeless, I care. God cares.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Today is Christmas Eve. This morning at church I was burdened to pray for you. YES, YOU!!

God put a heaviness on me to pray for all of those experiencing loneliness, divorce, loss, pain, and heartache today and this time of year. He told me that He cares about you and He hears you.

My belief is that God wants you to know how much He cares. He wants to spend time with you through a real relationship, one that includes reading His Word, praying, and seeking Him.

Be as open and honest you can be. He can take it. He already knows.

My prayer is that these few words you have read help you know that someone out there cares for you. You are not alone. You are not the only one who is experiencing what you are going through. Your situation is unique, but others are right where you are and so many have healed from the pain you are experiencing now.

I wrote a special prayer for those needing a prayer at this time. You can read it here, or you can listen to it as I read it on this past podcast episode. Either way, know that you have been prayed for today.

In some ways, I wish I could sit and talk to you for a few minutes tonight. Whether you are with family, friends, or find yourself with nobody else around, know that I care and other do to. Most of all, know that God cares for you far more than anyone else ever could. He loves you!!

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Isaiah 43.2

Be blessed!!

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You Made It

It is the day after Thanksgiving and a large amount of people have already been Black Friday shopping since early this morning. Actually, with technology today, Black Friday is more like most of November, ramps up around Thanksgiving and Cyber Monday, and they try to keep you spending until the Super Bowl.

What does this have to do with divorce and you making it?

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries, and many other big days are the hardest when you have lost someone or your marriage. Reminders of kids opening presents early in the morning, the smell of a dozen different foods being enjoyed with family, and that special someone being with you through it all…..but all is really not all.

You look at the important days like graduation, the loss of a first tooth, and a new job only to experience these without the one you planned to have by your side. It is hard, and it sucks to put it mildly.

BUT….You made it!!!

It is a new day and the sun came up this morning. You have breath in your lungs and you are on the right side of the grass. God’s mercies are new every morning according to Lamentations 3, but there is so much more to this passage of scripture.

The Book of Lamentations is exactly what it says; a book lamenting to God about the nation of Israel and it’s suffering. Jerusalem has been destroyed by Babylon. Things are not the same. The wonderful past is now a painful present. If you want to watch a powerful video describing the Book of Lamentations, here is a link to a short video. It will open your eyes. Take the time to watch the video and you may relate to our ancestors much more than you realize.

The chapter has only 3 positive verses, ones that describe the goodness of God.

Lamentations 3:22-24

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

You made it this far because of God’s love, mercy, and faithfulness. Does it still hurt? Yes. Does it change the situation? No. Does it mean anything will change today? That is up to you.

When you allow God to be your portion, He gives you a hope that you will only understand with the passage of time. You will be able to look back and say, “God got me through it. I made it!!”

Did you make it to the end? Not yet, but God will get you there.

If you are struggling today, take a few minutes right now and just lament to God. Tell Him how you feel. Tell Him what hurts. Tell Him what you want to change. Just talk to God. He wants to hear from you. He wants to have a real conversation, not just a list of prayers you say as you are running out the door to whatever you have to do.

People talk about self-care. I prefer God-care, because God created you and knows you way better than you or your bestie knows you. Give Him a little time to do a real work on your heart. Don’t settle for self-care, reach for God-care.

Part of healing is opening up the wound, cleaning it out, and providing an opportunity for it to heal.

Lament to the One who gives love, mercy, and faithfulness new every day.

You made it to today. You will make it to tomorrow. Have hope in Him.

Be blessed!!

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Not Enough

I know it has been too long between posts. Maybe that is why this post of the Divorce to Healing podcast spoke to me as well.

Have you ever felt “NOT ENOUGH”?

I have recently and even in my past felt that I have not done or said enough, been enough, or see myself as enough for someone else. Are you there too?

In the podcast, I mention the definition of value. It is the worth in usefulness or importance to the possessor.

Notice: Nowhere in that definition does it say that what is valued determines it’s own value. The value is determined by who possesses it.

A car does not determine it’s own value. The car dealer or the owner determines that. If someone wants to buy my used car, it’s value is determined by what the other party or new possessor is willing to pay for it.

You do NOT determine your own value. God does!! As a Christian, He is your possessor.

No matter how we feel or what we think about ourselves, God’s image of us is one of value and worth.

If our self-image is not a God image of ourselves, then it is just a selfish image of what God has created.

EPH 2:10 “For we are God’s masterpiece…”

Did you know that God made you and values you that much?

He gave His only Son for you. God gave His Son’s live for you. YES, YOU!!!!

You are valuable and you are enough.

Here is the podcast episode for those interested.

Be blessed!!

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New Podcast / Christmas Episode

I just wanted to tell everyone that no matter what your situation is at this moment, I am thinking about you and praying for you.

I just started a podcast on Spotify (soon others) for our Divorce to Healing community. I will share more about it soon, but wanted to share this episode that I released this week.

I added a reading of a previous post from

this blog at the end of the podcast episode. I know that post gets extra attention during this time of year and just wanted to share the other words and me reading it with you.

It is the post “A Prayer for the Divorced – Christmas”. I truly pray that this previous post and now this podcast episode can be a small part of your Christmas.

You are not alone. Jesus is with you. Spend time with him and know that your community family here is with you too.

Be blessed!!

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This Is Not What I Asked For

Separation? Divorce? Pain? Financial Ruin? Loss?

Today at church, our pastor started a new series called “This Is Not What I Asked For”.

Wow!! What a way to get me to finally update the blog with a new post.

I couldn’t help but be taken back in my mind to when I was left broken hearted and betrayed. Twice. I did not plan for that. I did not want that. I did not ask for that.

I am sure if you are not in that place right now, you have experienced those feelings in the past. I am right there with you again.

God has a way of taking us to our past to move us forward from our present to His future.

As God reminds me of those things that I have long since forgotten and been healed from, I have a fresh desire to help you through your struggles and healing process.

I have become too comfortable and busy in my own life and with my own family. I have been making plans and living life far removed from the pain where I once lived.

In many ways, that should encourage you. It has been over 18 years and I can tell you that taking God’s hand and letting him heal me completely was the greatest thing that has ever allowed me to move forward. It is the only way to fully and completely overcome what you are going through today.

Yet, it has allowed me to try to make plans that do not include my passion; helping others. I have been failing that part of the reason I experienced all of the pain and suffering.

I have given God the glory for the healing, yet not moved on into the fullness that He has had for me. Please don’t make the same mistakes I have made.

My plans in life of getting married and living happily ever after didn’t happen. Twice. Now after being happily married for over 18 years and experiencing my greatest life to this point, it is not enough.

My wife and I are more in love and growing more in love every day. We have 2 beautiful children and are recently new grandparents of a little grand-daughter. Yet, these were not my plans.

This is not what I asked for. It is actually what God has blessed me with, even though I messed up so many times and chose my plans. I didn’t need to experience that, but I am so thankful for what I have now.

This might be confusing. It looks like from the outside I have it all.

I never experienced divorce as a child. My parents are still together and a blessing to all of us kids. I grew up in a together home. Not perfect, but together and loving.

THAT is what I asked for when I got married. But that is not what I got. I got cheated on and abandoned. I got treated like the bad guy. My plans got dismissed and trashed like a left over gum wrapper.

Twice.

I am now much closer to what I asked for. Helping you is also a part of that.

It is ok to realize that the plans we make fail. It may be our fault and it may not. It may be through a tragic loss, abuse, adultery, or a large number of reasons. We are human. We are not perfect, and neither are the people in our lives.

It is ok to make plans and strive every day to make those plans work. My wife and daughter are huge planners. They love making a plan and completing it. If it wasn’t for plans we would not have raised skyscrapers or put a man on the moon. I can guarantee you that NONE of those things happened with out a change of plans.

A rough draft is just that; rough. The best plans are those that figure in all the contingencies, yet are able to flex and adapt to the changes needed. Even final plans end with a punch list where you need to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s before the plans are complete.

God has plans for you and your life.

I am still learning this after over 25 years of marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, and marriage.

We can’t change the past, yet we can learn from it as we heal from it with Jesus!!

I want to encourage you today to know that God’s plans for you are the BEST plans for you.

Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What are your plans? Are they YOUR plans, or are they GOD’s plans?

Know that God loves you and is ready and willing to share His plans for you as you spend time in His Word, praying, worshipping Him, and being around your church family through a group and attending in person or online.

The ultimate plan changer is the One who has the Master plan.

Interesting why that is the name of the plan, isn’t it?

Here is a link to the message from Pastor John Wyatt with Celebration Church from Jacksonville, FL if you would like to see it:

Be Blessed!!

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If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Much love!!

2

One

Don’t worry.

I won’t ramble on about all the sayings with the number 1 in them. You have probably already heard them. If you haven’t and are divorced, you will shortly.

For some reason, I just felt led to write about this number. It is just that; a number.

You could say that numbers come in all shapes and sizes, but that would not make sense. Unless of course, you are looking for a crazy one for your next Powerpoint slide or Instagram story.

What struck me is why this number can mean the best, the first, and the chosen. It can also be a lonely and depressing number when you are divorced or looking at your account balance.

When you have done everything people tell you to do and yet you don’t feel like you are making progress, what then?

Has counseling, group therapy, and well-meaning friends/family dragging you out of the house seemed to leave you feeling no better than before?

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who has been devastated by divorce, has been where you are. At least for a time.

How long that time is varies from a day or two to years. It all depends on the 1.

What am I talking about? The number? 1?

As a Christian, of course it all comes down Jesus. He is our #1. But that is not where I want to end it. You have heard or will hear all of that, so let me take another look at the number 1.

I think about those who have tried everything and feel stuck. Is that you?

You don’t feel like you have healed at all. You may even feel worse now than when this tragic season started for you.

It is like that book writer trying to start a masterpiece and all you see is an overflowing trash can of crumpled up paper in the corner. (Back when people used typewriters.)

Now what? How do I start? What next?

1.

Ok. Here comes the best advice I can give you after 30 years of experience involved in either my own divorces or ministry to those needing answers:

1.

Come on, Brent. Give us something….. I am sure this is what you are thinking. And I would be too.

Let me explain what I feel led to share with you.

1.

Breath.

1.

Thought.

1.

Prayer.

1.

Action.

Got it?

1.

Just quiet yourself and take a breath. God has blessed you with another one. Slowly breathe in and out.

You are alive and breathing, so God can and will use you. He has a purpose for you being here and in the situation you are in. Everything else at this moment doesn’t matter. Close your eyes and just slowly breathe for a moment or two.

Job 12:10 ESV

10 In his hand is the life of every living thing
    and the breath of all mankind.

1.

Take a moment to clear your mind of all the thoughts causing you to feel down, depressed, and anxious. There is a thought in there that wants to rise up and it is being choked off by negative thoughts.

When you quiet your mind and think of peace, what do you think of? The wind rustling through the trees on a cool morning outside? How about the whooshing of the waves slowly crashing on a quiet beach as you relax in a chair staring out at the ocean? Does staring at all of the twinkling stars overhead on a clear dark night make you feel like all of your cares are gone, even for a moment?

Philippians 4:8 ESV

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

1.

Take a moment to thank God for His love for you. He loves you with an everlasting love. Nothing that has happened to you or any perception you have about yourself can even come close to what God thinks about you. Yes, you!!

Pray a simple prayer. No agenda. No desires. Just pray that God reveals to you how much He loves you. Ask Him to show you. Ask that He touch you so you can feel Him all the way to your soul. Just spend a moment with Him. Nothing more than that. All of the issues you are dealing with will still be there, but this is your time with the One who created you.

Don’t rush it. Be honest. Pour out your heart to Him. He will listen.

Jeremiah 29:12 ESV

12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.

1.

Just do 1 simple thing today. Just 1. Something you have never done before.

Scream “JESUS!!!” at the top of your lungs. Drop and do 20 push-ups. Open the blinds and look for a bird or butterfly. Start reading that book you bought 4 years ago. Grab your Bible, close your eyes, and just start flipping through the pages until you feel you need to stick your finger on a page. Read that chapter. Find a podcast you have never listened to and listen. Call that friend you have lost track of who is on your mind.

Do 1 thing. Something. Move forward.

God will honor your movement towards healing.

In John 5, you can read the story of a man who had been an invalid for 38 years. I could never imagine the pain and shame this man must have endured over his life.

Jesus came and asked him “Do you want to be healed?”. The man did not answer with a yes. He explained to Jesus that he had nobody to help him into the healing pool. We can argue if it was an excuse or just the man frustrated with his situation, not knowing what to do. That is not the point.

Jesus didn’t talk down to him or make him feel less than worthy.

Jesus said to do something. “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.”

Sermons have been preached about so many points in just these few verses. I am not going to preach to you.

Just do something.

Ask God what He wants you to do. Then do it.

John 5:9 ESV

9 And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.

1.

Just a simple action, an honest prayer, a peaceful thought, and a breath from your Creator.

You may never see the number 1 the same again.

What is your 1?

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
(over 175,000 downloads to date)
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Love you all!!

6

Are You Ready?

There will come that day when you are ready to move on from the pain, the hurt, and the past. You will be ready to get back in the race.

Your life has not gone the way you imagined it. I don’t know of one person who started dating with the plan to get married and then get divorced. Doesn’t happen.

So what now?

Romans 8:28 ESV

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

This verse doesn’t mean everything in our life is good or even that it will be easy from this day forward. What God is saying is, no matter what, if you love God, things will work out.

God can make something out of nothing. Think back to Eden. He created Adam out of the dirt and Eve using Adam’s rib.

So, how do you think God will use you to help others going through what you have gone through?

If you are not at that point in your healing, that is ok. There will come a day when someone will come to you and need your advice or encouragement. You will feel unprepared and probably have no idea what to say.

Take it from me…..you will be able to help them. Even if it is just to have a listening ear. You are further down the path to healing then they are. Be open to being a helping hand.

When my wife and I had led a few marriage groups at our church, we felt maybe we were to do something else to help others. My wife, being a single mom before we met, felt led to help other single moms. Since I had been divorced twice before, I was starting to have a heart towards men and divorce.

Guess what? God gave us the perfect blend of both of those desires: DivorceCare.

Our church was needing a couple to facilitate this new curriculum. We received a call from one of the pastors asking us if we would be interested.

It is interesting how God had already warmed us up to helping others in a new way, but never saw this coming.

I listened to the pastor on the phone and asked if they could hold for a few seconds while I talked to my wife. I looked at my wife and said, “They want us to lead a new group called DivorceCare. What do you think?”.

She looked at me at said, “I guess we are doing it.”. We didn’t have to think twice.

Now when we started, we felt so unprepared.

God was with us every step of the way. From a lady in our first group who had just moved to our city a few months before and been divorced for over 10 years (Yes, 10!!) still dealing with anger to other people that would eventually become life-long friends, we just took it one week at a time.

It felt good to see people come into the group broken and hurting, yet seeing those who chose to stay in the group for the full timeframe coming to a new place in the healing process.

This is my story. What will yours be?

Will you be someone who leads a group eventually? Will you be a listening ear to that co-worker that is struggling at work because her marriage has fallen apart? Will you hear of someone having problems and feel led to pray for them to get healing and find peace.

However that looks for you, be ready for it. Use the breath God gives you to bless others in your own way and with His spirit leading the way.

I was blessed today to get a direct message from a man who read this blog and felt like God has given him a desire to start a blog as well. I was overjoyed to share a little of the knowledge I have gained over the last 7 1/2 years. I encouraged him to just get started.

You can get started, even if you are not fully healed or fully ready. Ask God to guide you in a simple way to be a blessing to someone else, even if it is in praying for a person struggling with the effects of divorce.

As you take your eyes off of your situations and help others, you will be amazed at how God takes care of your situations while you are not worrying and stressing over them, even for a few minutes.

When you are ready, take the step. Have a caring and encouraging word for someone. Offer to sit in a group and offer your thoughts. Maybe help co-lead a group. Start a blog our YouTube channel about your life.

Be a blessing to someone else as God continues to love you and heal you.

Be blessed!!

YouVersion Bible App Reading Plans:
(over 180,000 downloads to date)
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

If you would like to support this ministry, feel free to purchase a copy of my book or donate below:

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Paypal: http://PayPal.Me/brentpapineau3

Venmo: @Brent-Papineau

Any purchase or donation would be a huge blessing. Much love!!

0

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