Day 2: “Identity” — Thanks for joining us and sharing with those that need some encouragement.
Resource list:
Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness Reading Plan
Prayer Project
For those who want to join me, I am starting a prayer project to pray through the Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness Reading Plan. Join me here or on the YouTube channel as I come in agreement and encourage you through your healing. I will repost all the videos here. If you subscribe to the YouTube channel, you will get a notification right after I post them.
If you need the link to the Reading Plan or the YouTube channel, click the links above,
Be blessed,
Brent
Milestone !!!
Just wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart!!
From those who have encouraged me to follow God into His calling to all of those that trusted me to speak into their lives via the Reading Plans, THANK YOU!!
Feel free to continue to share these Godly, free resources to those dealing with the effects of divorce and separation. You never know the lives you may change because of this simple act of kindness.
Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD
Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp
Be blessed!!
In the Blink of an Eye
It is amazing what can happen when we least expect it. Just a few days ago, it happened to me once again. When I wasn’t even watching or paying attention, it came in the blink of an eye.
Perspective.
Times in my life I have wondered why “this”, why “that”, or why “now”. As a Christian, I have learned that I need to spend that time wisely. To live in the past is not wise, but to learn from it in a healthy way is beneficial.
Looking back, I have learned that to have a healthy perspective on events, good or bad, is what can set you up for a better future. A divorce is one of the hardest events to ever occur in someone’s life. Learning from mistakes, taking responsibility for consequences, and growing through heartbreak is meant to be a process, not a destination. If you can’t move on, decide right now that you WILL move on and then get whatever help you need to do it.
When I went through my first divorce, the saying that God gave me was “Jesus and I are movin’ on”. This implied action and decision on my part. I could have resisted. I could have let myself spiral into vices or self-pity, and there was as a time I thought those would help. They didn’t.
What ultimately brought me out of the ‘funk’ was knowing that Jesus was by my side, no matter what, and that He loved me unconditionally. Friends and family were around to encourage me, even if they didn’t know what to say or they said the wrong things. I know they cared about me as a person. I wasn’t in this alone.
It changed my perspective.
Back in 2016, God impressed on me (and literally dragged me) to finish a Divorce to Healing reading plan for the YouVersion Bible App. The Bible App is one of the most downloaded apps all over the world. It is literally the bible in your hand. They also include reading plans or devotionals that can help people grow closer to God. This is what I was supposed to do.
I needed to create 31 different days on different topics. I was stuck on about Day 17 for a few months. I wasn’t motivated any more to finish it, but God lovingly convinced me to be obedient.
In 2017, God gave me a desire to do a shorter 7 day plan to compliment the first plan. It allowed people to have a shorter devotional that they could complete quickly and give them a desire to download the longer 31 day plan. And now, I am just humbled beyond belief.
Today (Jan 26, 2018) is a huge day for the ministry of Divorce to Healing. God told me to help people through the divorce process. At times, I didn’t know what to say or do. I just needed to do something.
As of today, “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” and “Divorce to Healing: Survive and Thrive” have been completed over 25,000 times. They been downloaded over 55,000 times. I don’t know what to say. All I want to do is cry.
Behind every one of the downloads is a soul. Behind every completion is a story.
Every one of these numbers humble me. It makes me long to know that those reading plans have made a difference, even for a moment. I wonder how those precious people are doing, even months and years after using the plans. Then God gave me a little more perspective.
On January 13th, 2018, I picked up my phone and saw a notification. It said that this blog had increased traffic that day. I have seen it before and love to know that God is directing people that need help to reach out. Little did I know how many……
On that one day, this blog spiked to 1,845 views. I could literally swipe down to reload the stats and see new people every minute looking at this blog. I wondered why, and figured it was because of people checking out the reading plan. More perspective.
On that same day, 2,457 people downloaded one of the two reading plans. If it was physically able to, my mouth would still be on the floor. Words can’t describe the feeling. Good and bad.
While seeing the work I put in being of value to people, it breaks my heart that people have to go through what I went through. I wish I could just reach out and encourage them.
So this goes out to you all, whether you have just found this blog and the reading plans or have been with us for years. You are not alone. People love you. It gets better. You will survive. You will make it. Jesus and you are movin’ on!!
Thank you for being obedient to God by allowing others, including myself, to speak life to you. I know sometimes the last thing you want to do is to be around anyone. You can’t run or hide from the love Jesus has for you. He will be with you every step of the way.
This is my new perspective: God can even use me, a two-time divorcee, to bring light and love to the world. And He can and will use you too, if you let Him.
I would love to hear from you, however and whenever you feel up to it. Leave me a comment or just a word for me. Pass along your story. It will encourage others at the same time.
I leave you with this:
The blink of an eye is but a moment in time. Eventually, the tear is wiped away and you can see clearly again.
A Divorce to Healing Testimony: Scott
From Scott, in his own words.
Thank you, Scott!!!
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Been reading your devotionals on YouVersion. No truer words than these…
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This is the time you need to move on from destructive thoughts and behaviors. It is the time to move past accusations, pain, and fear.. It is time to move into a greater relationship with God and to move into all He still has for you.
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The one thing God has pressed upon me since I found out about her affair and when she moved out, was simply this… I must forgive her for ME to heal. It was something I knew, above all else, that I HAD to do! It took me many prayers, screaming at God, crying out to Him, “God, I can’t do this! I know I need to, but I can’t. And truthfully, I don’t want to! But I know I need to. I need You to help me do this!”
Through this, He changed my heart. I was given the opportunity to forgive her face-to-face. I did. She ignored me, changed the subject. But I discovered that it wasn’t about her response… it was about mine. And by being obedient that day when He told me, “Do it now. Forgive her” I was set free of so much that was weighing me down.
But then, God taught me something new! He told me, as I quickly found out, that Forgiveness is NOT a one-and-done… it’s a daily process. I learned to stop saying simple prayers for her and start praying blessings over her! I struggled with this, but now pray for her job, car, increase, protection, and still most importantly, her healing and return to God. Even if it is not with me, I pray that I can see her healed and whole.
Thank you for being obedient to God in your ministry. Thank you for helping others like me. I have a friend going through a nasty divorce that I have asked to read your devotionals, as well. Thank you.
BE blessed!
Scott
One thing I have continued to pray is that if I must go through this, that God would allow me to use it to help someone else. I never even imagined that I could do so before I got through this! But He has called me to reach out to a few people, and I’ve been able to strengthen and encourage them… not because of me or what I did, but because of what God has done in and through me.
I know this won’t be easy to get through, but I know that in forgiveness I have found peace… even though it still hurts.
I literally feel like an amputee sometimes, like I’m missing part of me. I mean I am actually. But through forgiveness (and prayer) come healing. You cannot have one without the other. God has been so amazing through this. Thank you again!
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Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.
New Reading Plan Released!!
Hi Everyone!!
So thankful and blessed by all of those who joined us last week for the daily postings of the new Reading Plan called, “Survive and Thrive”.
I just wanted to share that it has now been released on the YouVersion Bible App and you can now have it available instantly on your device.
Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.
Again, Thank you all for moving forward in your healing and letting me be a small part of that.
Be blessed!!
I Am Humbled
I just found out today that in less than 2 months since the release, over 2000 people have downloaded the free Reading Plan from the YouVersion Bibile app and over 350 have already completed the full 31 days. WOW!!
The reason I wanted to share this with you is to show you that by letting God use your past to heal your present, He will give you a future you could never imagine.
In those moments that seemed like ages when I could hardly see beyond the day, my future was not even close to being a thought. The only future I was worried about was if I could make it to tomorrow.
When I felt so strongly that God wanted me to step out on this project, I did everything I could to try to explain it away or not to do it. God had other plans.
The plan was YOU!!!
For the ones that needed a word of encouragement. For the ones that needed wisdom to make the tough choices. For the ones that needed hope for tomorrow. God made me realize that you needed what He wanted to speak through me to you.
So today I just wanted to be excited for you, the ones who have joined us on this journey. I also want to ask you to join us if you haven’t yet. The link to the free reading plan is below. We would be so honored to have you join the Divorce to Healing family.
I would also love to hear your thoughts, comments, and questions about the plan or just anything that you want to share about the blog or how anything you care to say. Just let me know. I would love your thoughts.
And remember, you never know how your awesome your tomorrow can be if you don’t heal from your past today.
The direct link to the FREE Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness is here!!
Be blessed!!
Divorce Is Not A Marriage Mulligan
For all the golfers out there, you know what a mulligan is. For those unaware of what a mulligan is, I will describe it in one word: Do-over.
A mulligan in golf is when you are given another shot to make up for the one you just hit into the water or shanked into the woods. I should know because I have used them many times. Thankfully, I was not trying to qualify for the US Open or a local tournament. Maybe after not golfing for a few years, my “skill” of hitting it right in the wrong spot has fixed itself. (I highly doubt it!!)
In a regular round of golf, you will tee off 18 times. If you walk up to the first tee and proceed to knock the ball straight down the fairway, you expect the round to go pretty good. It is like waking up in the morning and it’s all sunshine and rainbows. If you walk up to the first tee and smash it 300 yards, but 150 yards to the right into the trees, Lord have mercy!! (Can I just take a mulligan?)
In all of my years helping people with relationships and the issues pertaining to divorce, I hear the terms “Starter Marriage” and “Practice Relationship”. Sorry folks, but it doesn’t work that way. Unlike in sports, you must make the best with what you have. Play it where it lies.
Hitting a horrible shot off the first tee or chunking a wedge that ends up blowing your ball over the green into the water is a lot like the tragedy of a divorce. It causes words to be blurted out that should never be said. Destruction to the offending club could rend it useless and only worth the trash can when you get back to the clubhouse. If you can’t find the ball or lost it in the lake, now you are out the money for the ball too, along with additional stokes as a penalty, unless you take a mulligan.
But if you care about the spirit of the sport of golf, the role honesty and playing by the rules plays, you will record the appropriate score and move on. It is about doing what is right and taking the high road. Accepting the consequences. Moving forward.
This message could be applied in two ways:
1) If you are married (and possibly contemplating separation or divorce), realize it is just a bump in the road and you can recover. Many times, golfers overcome a bad shot or even a series of shots to win the tournament. It is fortitude and determination that helps you to be better on the rest of this round and to finish out the tournament strong. It is never over until the last stroke. You may just be surprised how well the rest of it turns out.
2) If the duff or shank is what has happened to you and divorce is now the course you are on, see the rest of the tournament as the rest of your life. You still have a lot of game to play. You may pull up to a par 3 and hit a hole-in-one!! Don’t just take a mulligan. Use this as a learning process to gather yourself for the next hole and rounds of your life.
As a Christian, you can have Jesus as your caddie. He can warn you of the hazards and keep you from straying off course. He can tell you how the greens lean and what will cause your ball (life) to move side to side. He will tell you when to swing with all your might and when to lay up a little. Best caddie you will ever consider having, too!!
Sometimes, people make too much or too little of divorce. They want you to just get over it and start over or take a mulligan.
Take it from me–Let Jesus carry your bag (burdens) and guide you through the Masters golf tournament called life. Let the Master be your caddie!!
Divorce to Healing devotional coming soon!!
Looking forward to finishing this up and publishing in the very near future. There is also a possibility that we will be involved with other projects that will be very exciting. Looking forward to what God wants to do with this project. Make sure you follow us here and on our Facebook and Twitter pages as well so you won’t miss out on all the news. Thanks and be blessed!!
Divorce to Healing 