What does it mean to be ‘RAW’ when it comes to divorce healing?
The reason I am asking is because I want to know what you think when I ask the question. To you, what does it mean?
I am in the process of developing a RAW divorce group for my local church and really want to include those topics and issues people need to get RAW and real about.
Too many times people skirt around the edge of their deepest problems to avoid the pain, but true healing can only come when you face it head on and go deep to root out the infection.
Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts below. Thanks in advance for all of your responses.
Be blessed!!
Divorce to Healing 
Hi, this has been a blessing to me, I’m divorce 7 months now and I’m still hurting, he has since moved on to a number of relationships and I’m still hurting, I recently gone back to church, after the divorce I was hurting and I seek council at church but got none, eventually 1 week turned into 2 then it was 4 weeks,then that turned into months, I even turned away from God pray was hard, I am always angry and took it out on the children, I recently took up a neighbour invitation for church and went up for prayer, I still have a long way to go, I need to forgive him, I need to to it for me and the children we deserve a better life and God promise never to leave nor forsake us, we just need to trust him and have faith. Thank you for sharing.
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Hi, Charmaine.
Thank you for sharing. I know how divorce completely changes lives, and I am sorry you have had to experience the effects of what your husband did.
The hurt will eventually go away, but it will take time. Time does not heal the wounds, but time working through your thoughts, feelings, and issues with God and others will eventually allow you to gain the strength to move forward in a healthy way.
I am glad you have trusted God for your healing and reached out for counseling. Some churches are not prepared to help those going through divorce or may not have the resources to serve you in that time. They should do the best they can, but to not even reach out is disheartening. Keep trying to get the counseling you need at your new church. Speak to the pastor directly after a service to see how they can help you and if another pastor or counselor can help you. Also ask other people who have had to go through divorce for referrals of those that can help inside or outside of the church.
Have you read through the Divorce to Healing Reading Plan, specifically the day about Anger? I know for many people, the anger issue is one that is serious and needs to be addressed, hopefully sooner than later. It is ok to be angry, but as Paul wrote — “BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.”
Ephesians 4:26-27 NASB
Paul wants us to understand that God gave us our emotions and feelings, yet we need to control them so we do not allow the enemy an opportunity to hinder the healing process or cause us to be less like Jesus. Pray that God help you to control your anger and that He heal you from the cause of that anger. Whatever triggers it, may He take away that trigger.
Thank you for accepting your friend’s invitation and trusting God through going forward for prayer. God knows you, He knows your heart, and He knows what you need. Continue to attend church with your friend, find a small group that you can connect with (DivorceCare.org has a small group curriculum specifically for those affected by divorce at many churches all over the US) to help work through with those also going through the same issues. My wife and I lead a group for years at our church and was very effective as people continued to come and receive from the group. If you are able, attend one. If not, see what resources you can get from the website. It is the best I have found so far.
Know that God loves you and wants you to heal. My prayer is that He give you what you need when you need it, specifically targeting the anger and to find the right counsel to help you. In the end, nothing will heal you like a growing and honest relationship with God that includes spending time with Him DAILY reading the Bible, consistently attending a life-giving bible-preaching church, and finding a small group of same-sex friends that you can be honest and real with Godly advice.
Over time, in Christ and with others, the healing will come. Just keep going and God will bring you through.
Be blessed!!
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Thank you, I will be starting the divorce to healing reading plan today, I live in the Caribbean and never been to the USA, I will seek additional help at my new church.
May God continue to bless you and your wife in this journey.
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Love the Caribbean!! Have been to Ocho Rios, Jamaica and George Town, Grand Caymens on a cruise as well as Cat Island on our honeymoon. My favorite place to vacation. Thanks and may God bless you and your family as well!!
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Hello, I stumbled on this bible plan. I have already been blessed even though I have not completed the plan. My ex husband and I had been off and on for 5 years which included a quick marriage and divorce dating. We did not treat each well very good to very bad. However my ex husband fought for me and our marriage. It was until earlier this year that I realized how much I really wanted him and marriage back. It is too late. He has moved on. He and I both had rejection issues in which we both looked to everyone and everything but God to heal, restore and make whole. I know if we can reconcile right now it would still be destructive. However, I am dealing with realizing I love him and lost him all at once. I know God has a plan and a purpose for both of us but tell it my heart.
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I am sorry. I think the raw bible study is priceless and valuable. I know I had not been honest about loving my husband and two years of lying to myself , friends and God. I am dealing with the raw emotions of not wanting a divorce that I iniated and begged for , but now regret.
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Hi Quinnett.
Sorry I forget to leave you a comment last month in response to you. I must have been sidetracked. I apologize.
I am glad you have been blessed by the Reading Plan. Thank you for taking steps towards your healing. It truly is something that in the future will help you to learn from the past and prepare you for what God has for you.
It is hard to get real and raw, sharing about personal things. I know that is one of the hardest things for me too. Just know that God give syou grace and mercy that is new every morning. Take it a day at a time and know that He will be with you every step of the way.
Be blessed,
Brent
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